Dating being a single mother

Not to mention many paedophiles target single mothers to get access to their children. No thanks 🙅🏻‍♀️

True. Thank you-I will check it out! I do feel that a lot of men think single moms are desparate or something, the way they approach me with audacity even after me letting them know I’m not interested. much more broke and ugly men than before came out of the woodworks when I tried to date and made it known I’m a single mom.

The worst man I ever had a relationship with, I met when my daughter was very young. He said somewhat early on that he wouldn’t even consider dating someone who wasn’t a single mom, which should have been a red flag but I took as a compliment at the time.

he even tried to turn it around on me three years later when we broke up, saying that he that he Had assumed that a single mom would “have her shit together, because she has to” then accused me of not having mine together. he was the biggest mooch and didn’t hold a job for more than a couple months at a time during the relationship And I was the one who took care of everything financially. He also became abusive which my daughter had to hear him yelling at me and punching/breaking the cabinet one night. she ran into the room he was in and punched him. He then yelled at me telling me that I am a bad mother and taught my daughter to abuse men lol.

a lot of why I ended it there was realizing what a bad example I was setting for my daughter and imagining how I would feel about her being treated that way some day.

now over a year single and I have more money despite not making more income. I sometimes feel guilty for having done her the disservice of allowing myself to be treated that way in front of her. I make sure now to try and model how life can be much Better single than with a mooching, abusive scrote. We have fun and i treat us whenever I can. We keep the thermostat nice and warm.

I make a Point to express my excitement for having hobbies and interests. when she occasionally mentions that she wants me to find a boyfriend I make sure to express the lack of excitement the thought of meeting a man brings me. I told her that sometimes boyfriends can make your life worse so it’s important that I don’t let another boyfriend make my life worse by yelling at me or breaking things of mine because that is less money for us, it is sad, and not a good life. I try to make it a kid-friendly explanation of how it is very high risk to be with a man whenever it is brought up. She seems to understand this.

it is very important to me to have a fullfilling life that does not revolve around men, being a mom is forever and that relationship is the most important one to me. I do hope that my example helps her to never settle for crap men. I didn’t get taught these things and my mom has always been a pick me. She thinks marriage (at any cost) and having babies are the biggest accomplishments a woman can have, and I strongly disagree.

I know most ppl worry about pedos when single mothers are mentioned, but the men single moms really have to watch out for are the moochers. Same for child free women. Something is changing out there. Men are failing at everything and more and more of them are trying to leech off of women for housing and financial security (like women used to have to do to men). All the gold digger rhetoric is projection —they are resentful they are now the gold diggers. This is unsafe as when a woman is the breadwinner (or even just makes 25% more than her man), she is up to 2-7 times more likely to experience domestic abuse. When men are unemployed they are much more likely to be abusive, depressed, practice substance abuse, and be suicidal.

LVM, especially socially and financially incompetent men, intentionally seek out single mothers to use like a sugar daddy (a sugar mommy, but in a sad, not sexy way). Some have good employment when you meet them, but as soon as you let him move in he finds a way to be unemployed. Many LVMs try to trade free “childcare” to moms in exchange for mooching off you for housing, food, and money. It’s not a trade because a LVMs definition of childcare is putting them in front of a screen while they chainsmoke or drink. There’s no cooking, cleaning, or laundry happening (except when he’s in the doghouse and worried about losing his meal ticket).

Some men will seem normal and have a decent job for years, even a decade, but as soon as a child free woman (aka sucker) falls for them, they baby trap the woman thinking it’ll get them a meal ticket to live off that woman. Same type of dumb man often has shocked pikachu face when he realizes she can’t be a sole breadwinner from the stages of newborn to toddler.

In my 20s and 30s all I met were moochers. Some took longer to reveal themselves than others, but there were way too many. So many men think they are too good to work and will do anything to get away with not working —including mooch off of women, take food out of their children’s mouths, and destroy their lives.

The best ways to avoid moochers is to not cohabitate with men. Put it off for a long time —months, years. If he keeps bringing it up or loses his sh*t over it —dump him. If he really wants you, and not housing and financial benefits from you, he’ll be happy to live separately for as long as you want. When/if you do cohabitate—write and sign a cohabitation agreement. If you marry, get a prenup. If he won’t sign, don’t cohabitate.

IMHO moochers are currently as big of a danger as commitment-phobe f*ckboys. Moochers want to get serious, and fast. Moochers want to talk about the future. Moochers want to meet your friends and family. Moochers will lovebomb the f*ck out of you with romantic gestures and easy “I love yous”. There’s no way to tell they are pretending with the intention of being a leech until after you are engaged, married, pregnant, or cohabitating.

Be careful out there child free women and single moms.

We’re not fucked. I am a single mother of two and have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for almost two and a half years. My ex-husband lives around the corner and we co-parent and my partner is a mentor to my teenage son. Almost three years in and he still works very hard to make me feel special, planning sweet dates and trips, doing tasks for me, and hoping I’ll marry him someday. It’s not impossible! Interestingly, we got together when I really wasn’t looking. I told myself I would not be in a real relationship unless the man was X, Y, Z, and I was perfectly content being single. He had to convince me to date him! I never had the mentality that I was less than or had to settle bc I have children. It’s the mindset of lack and desperation that keep a lot of us settling. No ma’am. Ten kids or none, you are always the prize!

My Mom never dated after my father left us. She had me aged 14 and my sister aged 11 and said, "What guy wants an old lady when he could be hitting on her daughters?" She turned put to be 100% on the money with her assertion, and my Mom is a beautiful woman. But men were after my 11 year old sister at the time. You cannot trust men around your children. You just can't. Don't even tell men that you have kids if you're dating. They will treat you differently, and paedophiles will seek you out to rape your kids. These are very scary times. Focus on raising your children right and protecting them. If you happen to meet a decent guy, that's great. But it's better to be safe than sorry.

yeah my mom is a single mother and she put her relationships before me and it caused a lot of trauma. that’s why i don’t like dealing with her. she did all that and she’s almost 50 and has never been married. She likes losers and felons so i try to keep my distance. she doesn't have hobbies and doesn't want any and is very low vibrational. i can't help her anymore and i need to live my life.