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I used to be one of those naïve women that would make fun of FDS. Back then, "LVM" and "HVM" definition made no sense to me until I got some life experience...
As women, we were trained to blame ourselves " with that skirt men will not respect you; he is treating you like that because he isn't into you; etc". Because of FDS I've changed my way of thinking and I am always like "if he is trying to waste my time, he is a LVM" instead of " oh he is doing this because he is not into me/ im not his dream girl ".
The real men, the HVM, will always be respectful even to the women they find unattractive - they won't use them for sex or for passing time anyways. They will NEVER take advantage of women! Because they are GENTLEMEN.
Even if a HVM goes on dates with you and he founds out that you are incompatible, they will never hurt you that bad because men are logical = he will not leave you when you were already too emotionally invested. It will be fast and respectful.
And if you had a serious relationship with a HVM and it ended, you will feel sad but gained something with it. At least you had a great experience and there is something better!
Remember that you just have two types of men (LVM/HVM). If a man is making you questioning your worth, it's not about you - he is a LVM and that's DISGUSTING. The only reason you thought that he was special was because of your imagination.
He didn't payed in the 1st-3rd date!? DISGUSTING = LVM 💩
He didn't wanted to have a relationship with you but still was taking you on dates and acting right for ~3 months (because they can't lie for a long time) DISGUSTING = LVM 🤮
If you don't feel disgusted, you probably still have a low self esteem, a great imagination, daddy issues or your hearth is way too big - LEAVE that unconditionally love just for women, kids and maybe dogs. Go heal sis, because your dream husband will always treat women well. And if you had so much love for a LVM 🤮 imagine when you find a HVM for you.✨
Remember to vomit when you meet a LVM and to see them like trash.
We catagorize men in response to them doing it to us since the dawn of time. Scrote= cunt, gash etc. I read in various men's literature that men test us to see if we are slut, girlfriend or wife material then again to see if we are cheap or expensive so they don't "overpay". Crap like, "You don't want to take a woman on a $100 date if she put out for other guys for a street taco.". If they decide with their random BS "wisdom" that you are only worth using it will never change as long as you don't walk away. They will FWB or ONS some poor 'slut' that loves them, keep good women on as forever girlfriends or try to marry her whether she wants to or not. Sometimes if a "slut" walks away for a while, acts mean to him and changes her shirt and she suddenly gets promoted (lucky girl lol). That's how dumb men are. Most men are users, timewasters, and stupid. I don't feel bad one bit calling them things.
Your post articulates something that is important: If a man leads you on, he is, by defintion, low value. A good man will never waste a woman's time or use a woman. A good man will not confuse you about what is happening. A good man will not use you and then be on to the next victim. A good man will not string you along when he knows he feels nothing for you while you feel something for him. The men who treat us this way can never be right for us because they are not decent human beings. Actions say everything about a man's character.
"The only reason you thought that he was special was because of your imagination." NAILED IT!!! Nearly every single one of my dating/relationship mistakes can be traced back to my brain's tendency to try to make everything into an interesting (but true) story. This (unfortunately) often involves "filling in the gaps" in a man's personality or character, making him into someone I'd want to be with, talk about, think about, etc. Stupid of me, but I finally learned better. Realizing I was doing it, was half the battle. Then, I just had to recognize that tendency whenever it surfaced, and fight it down. It was like playing whack-a-mole for a while, but I eventually conquered it! Now I just use my imagination to make truly fictional stories, instead of overlaying this "wishful thinking" onto real-life people. Getting to know them as they really are is much better.
Queen! Thank you for this post. I needed this at the moment. Even though I've come such a long way with healing, building my self-esteem, and internalizing these realities, I still sometimes fall into the trap of blaming myself for their illogical and cruel behavior, and kind of thinking like, what did I do wrong or what am I lacking that would make someone treat me this way? Sadly, just had another experience with a man I was interested in, going from telling me he thought he loved me to ignoring me and telling me he didn't want to deal with me within the span of basically a day. Stuff like that is just so irrational and bewildering to me that I'm always seeking answers or an explanation. But this is truly so accurate and the only way to approach men for our own sanity. They are just low value and disgusting, indeed.
This is a great way to categorize them, I should keep this in mind
They don't want us to generalize because it muddies the general dating waters which gives individual plausible deniability to scrotes who demand intimacy/our trust with similar methods we've experienced before.
"Don't let your past experience of X color your experience of me subjecting you to X now, I'm different."
Like, how is X different from X exactly? Each scrote just wants their turn to take advantage and they feel so entitled to it they think women are or should be dumb enough to let the same tactics work multiple times. Categorize ruthlessly! Idc if you fit many of my "yes" categories or standards, if you fit any of my "no" categories you're cast out. Too bad so sad!
Just remember this is all about power and control, from categorizing women as slut, girlfriend, wife, to paying, to playing games. Getting picked isn't the honor it's made out to be, because look what they're doing TO THEMSELVES: they are low-balling themselves, yet another way to cut off their own noses to spite their faces.
I totally get this, and society is vastly to blame for aiding and abetting women into blaming themselves. I used to introject so much blame, and sometime in my teens, after my first boyfriend ghosted me and I sunk into a self-blame depression for six months, I just said nah, fuck this shit, I'm done. This was the 80s and I was a teenager, but I knew, a good man doesn't just up and leave, doesn't just stop communicating, and I deserved better. Thanks, JH, for my first real feminist awakening, the hard way.
But then look what happens: women want to be found "worthy" so they start leveling up, find that leveling up brings a host of other advantages and blessings, and along the way, the journey becomes what's way more important than men. All of a sudden, a woman stops, looks back, sees how far she's come... and realizes she's surpassed the guy she was trying to impress long ago. And, there are a lot more high(er) value men around her, now that she's done the work. Win/win all around for us, total lose/lose for scrotes. So mote it ever be.