Can we discuss Red Flags when it comes to Males and their Mother! Share your stories as well…

From what I've noticed, men who are obsessed with their mothers love to be babied and justified all the time. They try to find their mothers in other women with the difference that they can have s*x with them. Having respect for your mother is important for sure but so are boundaries.

If he ever says "she needs to learn how to cook like my mom": RUN

Dude ain't wanting a gf or wife, he wants a substitute mother

Most good liars are like that because their mothers allowed it, I had male family members who lie all the time just because they can and their mothers swipe it under the rug saying it's your fault for believing them. I lend my bike to my uncle and went away with it to sell it, his mother snapped at me saying its my fault for believing him. But it's totally not your fault for not warning others that your son is a thief and a liar, and it's totally not your fault that you failed to raise him.

Mothers who turn the blame on you for what their son did even for a small thing should be avoided including their sons. You're signing up for being a scapegoat.

• Mothers who contact you to apologise on his behalf.

• Mothers who approach you for a date.

• Mothers who are on wife duties.

Are one of the worst mother in laws and bred the worst type of men.

A few things to consider:

• does she still do ANY chores for him (laundry, cooking etc.)

• does he still live with her or in the same building (e.g. a separate apartment in his mother's house)

• does she visit or walk into his apartment unannounced or while he isn't at home (with the exception of something like watering his plants when he is on a holiday)

• does she expect to move in with you when she gets older and for you to take care of her

• does he ever mention that a former partner and his mother did not get along

• does he mention her opinions and views on things often ("I don't know but my mother says this is...") and does he seem to make decisions with her input and/or to please her

There are obviously a lot more things, but these would be my main concerns while vetting.

Enabling mothers help create entitled men. Ask me how I know! Sister of an entitled, abusive brother. Our mother excuses, defends, and justifies his behavior. He's in his late 30s.

I see some good answers.

Every culture is different, and different cultures accept different types of mother-son relationships.

My golden rule when it comes to evaluating a mother-son relationship: if anything (e.g., any interaction, any way he talks about her, any way she talks about him) between a man and his mom gives you the ick, just block, delete, and move on.

No amount of therapy, coMmUNICAtiNg, hinting, teasing, arguing, shaming, etc., will make a man change his relationship with his mother (or primary caregiver). If you don't like it, just bail. It's not worth it for you to compromise your comfort and standards just so you can make them comfortable in the long run.

Mommy's Boy red flags 🚩

• Mom will triangulate and undermine you (with her, his exes, her mother, etc..)

• He will triangulate you with his mom and try to "train" you

• He's apologetic about how "misogynistic" or "traditional" his family is but still associates with them (newsflash: he shares his family's views)

• His mom will be intimately involved in your marriage but your parents will be expected to keep their concerns to themselves

• If his dad is a deadbeat/absent/scrote and he is basically supporting his mom tangibly (ie money) or emotionally he has less time/money/energy for you

• You'll be broadly smeared as the soley responsible party if the relationship ends

• The timeline of your relationship will be subject to input from his mother or family like rushing wedding/kids/moving in etc to foist the responsibility of a scrote onto you and establish permanent family ties in the form of offspring

Just like why do you want to deal with a) the emotional incest b) the mother's entitlement and lack of respect for your boundaries or c) you partner's participation in this whole ordeal to the point of inevitably throwing you under the bus

my father was a scrote and a stereotypical momma's boy. i have an ex who also ended up being very LV and happened to be a momma's boy, there is definitely a correlation between a Mommy's Boy and being a LVM. With my ex the mom:

• had massive pickme traits, threw herself all over her husband in front of us often, bragged about him and their sex life, made sexual jokes, offered giving us sex tips, said how her husband rules the roost and she always buys/does stuff to make HIM happy

• didn't act her age, still acted like a low value college party girl, drank a lot, always gossiping with her friends, irresponsible, acted spoiled and snobby, awful with money and still mooched off her parents at 50 years old

• was hot and cold with her son. would sort of baby talk him, was overly affectionate, very nosey about his personal life and sex and finances, but then would also be cold, super nasty, yelling and berating him for ridiculous reasons because his "haircut looked bad" and because he "looked like his father", trash talked his humble and working paid off car (she tried getting him to buy an overpriced flashier car he didnt need or like)

• would ask me lots of questions about my money, job, ambition, placed a lot of emphasis on if i cooked (and would give me cooking stuff and cookbooks for gifts all the time so i could cook her son his fav meals YIKES)

• told me to "take good care of him" and that he means so much to her

• pushed marriage on us, always mentioning marriage and kids to us even when we first met her, even pulled him aside and tried giving him her old ring to give to me

• didnt seem to care and couldnt be bothered when her son got injured in a car accident or when he got sick and struggled. she wouldnt help out at all and said "suck it up kid" but was out buying multiple designer bags and going on vacations

• made her husband hot meals and cleaned up after him every single day. when we were invited to eat at her house, she actually plated all the food, while my ex and her husband sat. i offered to help and when i had my ex get up to help, she told me "no, let the boys sit". she even took all our plates and did all the dishes and i noticed my ex and her husband would just leave their cups and dirty plates whereever because she'd pickup after them.

• she played favorites with her kids and demonized a kid, would change with her mood

• she'd still bring up her ex-husband often and make bitter and degrading comments even to her own kids.

her son though would always stop what he was doing to answer her call and would do ridiculous favors at his own expense to try to get her attention and approval, he'd often tell me he was "distant" from her and call her "crazy" but then would ass kiss so hard to her