Calling out you xenophobes as pickmes

Not sure what post this is in reference to, but I don’t think anyone is claiming white western men are “better” than middle eastern men/indian men just by acknowledging the misogyny inherent in certain cultures. Men are the same everywhere, so if american men were given the same cultural excuses for misogyny that eastern men are, they’d be just as bad. The difference is in the culture. If you’re in iran or india and your husband beats you or pours acid on your face, you’d be hard-pressed trying to find someone to help you because their culture considers that his right. The only defense you’d have is from male family members (many of whom were conditioned to think they’re “protecting their family’s honor” if they kill you). Yeah, american men are just as bad, and they’d jump at the chance to create the same kind of culture over here, but they still have to operate within cultural boundaries. Americans don’t have much sympathy for domestic violence victims, but they’d at least get support from their own family over here. Most of the FDS posts I’ve seen exposing the misogyny of men from certain cultures is from women who are from those cultures. So I’m inclined to believe them. Nobody said “date white men instead”, they just said “watch out for [insert culture here]”. And I’m grateful for the warnings, because red flags are difficult to spot on men who aren’t from your own culture.

What happened to "no standard shaming"?

Wanting to date someone who shares your cultural, religious or moral background (or race/ethnic background) - and therefore not wanting to date men who don't - seems like a perfectly reasonable standard to me.

"I don't want to date men from this and that background because I don't think I could connect or happily raise a family with someone from such a different upbringing and culture" is not pickmeism.

I assume all men are porn watching scrotes untill proven otherwise. I'm intersectional like that 😅

No woman owes anyone a reason or explanation or defense for having the standards they have. That could be related to culture, religion, race, ethnicity, physical appearance, dress, income, family, children, or even what kind of car they drive. The bottom line is women get to want what they want, and they don't have to justify it for any reason. Are you referring to any post in particular? I haven't seen anyone mention race here except when they are accusing others of racism.

Certain culture upbringings are more sexist than others. Definitely pay attention to their family, how they treat you and how he treats you in their company, and if he helps with cooking/cleaning there or he just sees his mother as a maid.

@Wallflower As someone who has been in Korea for nearly 10 years (engaged twice to natives), it's not. Korean men are horrible, as most Korean women will tell you. Every single one of my friends have told me to stay away from the men here.

Misogyny is built into the culture and societal norms here. Men are raised to see women as second-tier citizens. The violence against women is astounding. It's very easy to get away with sexual crimes here, and even when there is "justice", it comes in the form of super short prison sentences or even as little as a slap on the wrist. One year isn't enough time to really, really see the actuality. It's a drop in the bucket, really. When you speak the language and are pretty much assimilated as much as you can be as a foreigner, you start to see Korea with a new lens.

There are definitely "normal" guys here, but they are very difficult to find. I would say the bulk of my Korean friends' husbands are cheating on them. Back when I was on Tinder, about 1/2 were married and looking for "fun". Most older women are divorced because of the same reason. I've been to dozens of weddings here. Korean men (as well as all men) like to put on that "sweet" "in love" "innocent" "you are my world" look at weddings because it's a performance. So many of my friends (ages 30-60) tell me that most guys do a 180 after marriage. More women here are marrying "out", or refusing to get married at all now.

Not saying all Korean guys are crap, but in a recent study here, 70% of (happily) married men admitted to visiting prostitutes regularly. Scary odds.

You'll never catch me claiming white western men are superior. And it's true that misogyny is everywhere, in damn near every culture on earth. But misogyny is also different between cultures. I think men everywhere are inclined toward misogyny, but in some cultures men get away with worse misogyny than in other cultures. It's also true that women from, for example, Iran will flee the misogyny in their home country and seek a better life in the US, but women from the US never flee the misogyny in their home country for a better life in Iran.

I feel the same about Korean men. The stories I could tell...

I've just decided to live with the fact that most, if not all men, are for the trashcan.

What do you mean? Are you referring to the lady who advised not to date Indian men who had no female relatives?

all men suck. is that even a discussion?

My view is that all men will be just as depraved as their culture allows them to be. And even then, they will learn to be depraved in more covert ways.

No man is superior. The only thing that sets them apart is the ones that will abuse women of their OWN race more than others. Or abuse women OF a particular group or race not withstanding what race the man is in the first place.

The way some of them look down on men because of they are Muslim, Hindu or in any way non-european is ew. Why they gotta act like some millions of white Christians did not vote for the king of misogyny aka Donald Trump is beyond me. Men are men. Many of them are trash regardless of their race, religion or ethnicity. Get on with that program.

There are two things that scare me in life, teenagers, and middle aged white men. There's a reason the majority of serial killers are middle aged white men!