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being in a relationship in your late teens and early 20’s sounds like a pain

I saw a tiktok of a woman who is 28 with 9 kids and she had her first at 17 and allegedly the guy she's been with is 4 years older than her so that means they were together before that. That's grooming.

Also I went to a party and I met some kids young than me (19&20) and they already live with their bfs and it hasnt been a year and one couple is engaged.

One of the guys told me and my friends women need to "bring something to the table" with his gf next to him. He mentioned that she cooks and cleans for him and it was overall a weird comment to make especially when she was there.

Also this one guy from school that has been trying to hook up with me for months played this other girl that he's strung along for months is finally official for them. I happened to meet her tonight and I told her he's tried to message me several times and for some reaosn she went off on him over text. Also he messaged me on instagram telling me to stay out of his business. First of all i thought it was the right thing to do and while they were "talking" months ago he hooked up with someone I know and she was begging that girl to tell her about it. Also why have a "talking" stage for like 6 months and now that you run out of options you settle with a girl that's 19 and you're 24. What a predator smh. I've also learned that majority of the guys in college are just children that want to fuck anything with a hole. Even when they get gfs it's for superficial reasons and they want a "trophy wife" to show off and brag about.

Weird instances have been happening to me and at this point seeing how a lot of men are, I don't really want to date anymore.

Most men aren't genuine and good people and lack the same morals and I've been nothing but used and manipulated so what's the point? I've also deleted my dating apps and I don't really hang with a lot of girls anymore because they're pick mes.

don't really know where i'm going to this but things have been eye opening.

20 answers0 replies

Comments (20)

Millennialpink2k

Dec 07, 2022

Avoid dating until you're out of your 20s if you can. I know some folks will jump down my throat for this, but I stand by it. It's a cesspool of unresolved trauma, insecurity, pick me-ism, abuse and desperate FOMO. No one's head is screwed on right at that time in their life. Try to navigate it with as few long term mistakes as possible (ie. kids, divorce, credit card debt etc). Age won't solve everything, but the seas get smoother as you get older

Millennialpink2k

Dec 10, 2022

Replying to

Lucky you

prettyblk

Dec 11, 2022

Replying to

i’m 21

blackkitty

Aug 21

Replying to

I knew it! I haven't been in a relationship yet in my life and I'm 27, but honestly, looking back at my options throughout my 20s so far, I now feel like it's a blessing that I haven't had a boyfriend yet. Looking at guys in that age bracket, it just doesn't seem worth it most of the time. I know age doesn't solve everything and just because a guy is older doesn't automatically mean he's more mature. However, there are men I talk to (not in a dating context) who are 30 or 35+ who just seem so much more collected and like they know themselves and have their shit together.

40 year old manchildren are of course the other side of that coin, I feel like your late 20s/ early 30s are the turning point when you either mature and wisen up or stay in your immature ways for the pretty much rest of your life.

Meanwhile, when I look at most guys in their 20s, they just seem like older teenagers to me. It's a shame because I'd like to be with someone who's around the same age as me, the thought of dating a guy 10+ years older than me creeps me out. Guess I have to be patient or even better, not rely my happiness on whether or not I'll find a man.

I've been through this feeling of "what if I never find the right man, where is he, why can't I find him, what can I do to find him, am I doing something wrong??" throughout the majority of my 20s, but nowadays I just don't see the point. If it happens it happens, but most of the time I got involved with a guy, no matter if in a platonic context or if I initially had a crush on him, it was rarely worth it.

Platonic guy friends will drain your energy, sometimes you'll witness a sudden portion of his internalised misogyny, they'll use you as a free therapist or they'll claim to just wanting to be friends but secretly still plotting on getting more physical with you over time. And when you cut them out of your life, you'll wonder how you suddenly feel so relieved and have so much more energy to pour into yourself and your female friendships lol.

And with crushes you'll get the "I'm not ready for a relationship", the emotional unavailability which will leave you wondering if you're maybe just not good enough, but the truth is usually that the guy was just not for you and chances are you dodged a bullet with him and he wouldn't have been mature enough for a relationship anyway.

Either way, long story short, dating in your 20s feels like a hell hole and I'm glad I stayed out of it for the most part.

soberlan99

Dec 07, 2022

Oh wow engaged at 19?? That's way too early to get married

I agree, lots of genz men, well men in general seem to just want a warm hole to stick it in lol. But not only that, but they can suck valuable time out of your day to work out, study, do mindful activities and constantly keep you worried/drama kings- I've observed this with two of my best friends, they were formerly very strong women, who prioritized school and mental health, but I saw how their boyfriends sucked the energy and vitality out of them. It was eerie to see right in front of my eyes, they became really pale, robotic, and every time I asked them to hang out, they would say they had to be with their boyfriend. It's important to remember that if a man, even though seemingly perfect makes you seem "off" or you feel like your persona is shifting, just drop him, it's not worth it to sacrifice your mental health and sanity for him

volana

Dec 07, 2022

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very much related to supernova's post about romantic love (https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/top-posts-today/romantic-love-is-a-scam).

all the couples you mentioned have cleared "romantic hurdles" together but the women know they're going to get the short end of the stick yet they can't get out because society has ingrained the need for romantic love in them.

Unknown member

Dec 10, 2022

I’m 25 and it really is. Almost everyone i meet my age need to get their shit together especially men. The men are pornsick creeps.

I’ve only ever been in relationships with LVM that were a waste of so much of myself and my life and I’ve never met a HVM my age. I will gladly spend the rest of my 20s not wasting my precious energy and time on dating and rather focus on myself and career first

being in a relationship in your late teens and early 20’s sounds like a pain

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