Be ruthless, don’t dismiss your anger.

Trust your gut, intuition and anger, translate them into a ruthless shark/investigator: gather evidences, shame him especially to his family/friends and move the fuck on.

It’s been 10 months since my 9 year relationship ended due to ex’s infidelity.

Background: He found out about his dad’s infidelity in 2019 and having another family (GROSS) at age 60 in Philippines which he claimed he felt disgusted and would never cheat on his partner (LOL LAUGHABLE) aka me at that point and he also cried.

We also found out via facebook that this lady from Philippines was one of their domestic helpers when my ex and siblings were children..also found out that his mother often sent back multiple helpers (enabling the abuser, yucks) due to catching her own husband or the helpers informing her that HER HUSBAND HAD BEEN TOUCHING THEM.

For the past 5 years of our relationship, our intimacy and sex dwindled, and I even (lol pickme attitude) spoke to him about opening our relationship sexually just to brainstorm how to improve our intimacy. He of course, stonewalled and told me he couldn’t bear knowing other men pleasuring me and WHAT IF they are better than him (valid point but then I don’t see him proactively try to think of solutions. When I suggested couples therapy, he stonewalled again and expected me to arrange for the session and when I forgot, he never once brought it up.)

Fast forward 2 years later, we were at a beach club and I was walking towards him (him back facing me) from the toilet and when he heard my footsteps, he immediately exited telegram. I’ve already seen what’s on the screen: a secret chat and a woman’s name I’ve never heard him mentioned.

I tried giving the benefit of doubt, told him what I saw and why must it be a secret chat. He gave me some lame excuse and CAN EVEN go to sleep sleep on my bed at night. I sneak out with his phone and my phone midnight, scrolling through the chat and found explicit evidences about them discussing to meet up for sex again.

I immediately took photos of the evidence, photos of the bitch and mass sent them to both our families and close friends. Only then I woke him up and told him we are done there are no excuses, and the cats we both adopted belonged to me, and we are canceling the house we had just gotten few months ago.

Never show abuser the evidences of what you’ve gathered and let them persuade you into NOT exposing them. F that shit..

Heard he lost a few friends and especially respect after what I did, WHICH I NEVER REGRET. Never give NVM/LVM the chance to distort the truth of the break up, do it first and ruthlessly do it. Think several steps beyond them and leave them forever.

Also, VET THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS. What kind of values/morals they impart..lol it’s really proven that apples don’t fall far from the tree. And his mother‘s ENABLING BEHAVIOR and never once called out his father for his nonsense crap.