Are straight men ever hv friends with women?

Trust your gut. The only reason men and women cannot traditionally be friends is because we live in a patriarchy, in which men are conditioned to treat women as mommy-mcbangmaids. If they've done the work around social conditioning and are actively working against it, and are capable of treating you like a human being, then yes, you can be friends.

Keep vetting.

I have a HVM friend. In my pick me days (cringe) I tried to impress him by bringing up porn because I wanted to be a cool girl and he was disgusted and said he never watches that stuff. He's a year older than me from the school tennis team and is thoughtful and protective, he reminds me to vet any guy I'm talking to, and we can talk for hours about any topic from sports to politics to religion.

I'd still be cautious. I think that finding HV friend is even harder among men than finding HV partner. Men are still men and are more sexually driven and have less restrain than women. Also men who want sex from women are being the nicest, so you never know with them. Never stop vetting

Males can’t really be friends with women—even homosexual males. Even my homosexual male friends were attracted to me. That said—if you’re willing to accept that men have their limitations as to the kind of friendship they provide, then I guess they can be your friends. For instance, I was in the Army and worked in construction, so I had to be just friends with a lot of men. I just always reminded myself that they would f*ck me if I got drunk enough to let them, that they did think of me sexually from time to time, that they’d cease being my friend if they ever got married/got a girlfriend, and if their wife died, they’d be asking me out within 2 months. All of these things happened to me. You can’t divorce men from their sexual intent and needs. It’s what runs them up until their last breath on this earth. So be cognizant of it and just put men in the compartment that they belong in in your life; and don’t date your friends if you can keep from it. Due to the incel nonsense on the internet, men feel slighted by being in the “friend zone,” and many of them are waiting to pump and dump you after you’ve told them about all of the other guys you’ve dated. Just beware. Men can be very vindictive like that. They’ll think, “He treated her badly, so why should I make more effort than he did?”

I think that's the same case as in dating - high value men are rare, but they do exist. I would expect that a high value man in dating is also a high value friend. Actually I expect that a man I date is able to have women as platonic friends.

There was an FDS podcast episode where they said women can be friends with HV men, but not best friends. Because no one can understand you better than your female bestie.

The thing I've come to suspect is this:

When we women reach out in friendship to a man, we are projecting. That is, we want a friendship for reasons that (to us) seem obvious -- we seek connections with others -- we want companionship, good conversation, but more than that -- a sense of belonging, of kinship, of a pure kind of love.

When men want to be friends with us, we assume that they are looking for all these things. (I believe we don't even assume this consciously -- it's just in the background of our minds.)

However, that is not what men are looking for.

They are looking for something useful, something they can exploit.

It might not be something as awful as "he just wants to have sex with you." He might just want an intellectual challenge, or a "female perspective," or free entertainment. He might want someone to look down on, or someone to triangulate with, or heck, he might just want someone to have coffee with because he sucks at being alone.

Occasionally, they end up with a wholesome connection with a woman. They might come to think of her as "a sister." And they almost always sound surprised at this outcome.

Because men (by and large) are not seeking emotional attachment, and when we approach them in good faith, looking for that kind of friendship, we are almost always going to end up disappointed and disillusioned.

I have a high value male friend who basically became like a brother to me. He met my family and I met his, etc. I’ve known him for 4 years now and he never once touched me or flirted with me or made me feel uncomfortable. He is also very thoughtful. Whenever my son and I are sick, he will drop meds or whatever we needed because my parents live far and he lives nearby. I don’t even need to ask. He is also so supportive with my career goals and gives me a lot of advice as he is a very successful entrepreneur. He is the only male friend I have though. The rest are just acquaintances.

I don't really think so. Acquaintances maybe, but there always seems to be some kind of ulterior motive for men. Whether it's someone to stroke their ego, female attention, someone on the backburner etc. Even if they're in a relationship already. A lot just don't respect you the same way they would respect a male friend. I find that they only want to expend effort for someone they are romantically interested in, and once they get a girlfriend or you get a boyfriend they disappear. Of course there are exceptions and yadda yadda.

Are you SURE he was straight?

I think it’s possible to have a male friend, but I think it’s rare. My male friends are not my boyfriends for a reason. I would choose to date them if they didn’t have issues.

i think this is one those extremely "possible, but rare" cases.

Some of my best friends are HV men. You just need to find men confident enough in themselves and successful enough in life that they dont mind if you dont want to fuck them. Men who are fulfilled sexually, romantically, in their work lives, in their hobbies, these men arent going to keep women around in the long-shot hope they’ll have sex with them one day.

I've just watched today Good on paper movie. It's a good educational movie on one type of male "friend". Don't wanna spoil it but highly recommend it.

I've had HV male friends. My HV boyfriend has always had good, sincere friendships with women. When women talk about it being allegedly impossible for men and women to have good friendships, I'm like damn, where are you in the world or what have you done wrong in your life to be surrounded exclusively by douches and lowlifes? That's never been my experience. And I'm a straight up misandrist who doesn't make ANY excuses for bad male behavior.