Anyone else with ADHD/focus issues?

I remember you saying you were quite young. Do you still live with your parents? My life improved dramatically when I moved out on my own. My parents mean well, but they are very controlling and condescending. I found that waitressing was my jam- as someone who tends to daydream, it's important for me to be busy so I can get out of my head. I'm now going into nursing, and I chose the profession specifically thinking, "How can I be as busy as I was while waitressing, but also receive a modicum of respect and a decent paycheck?"

As for your informal diagnosis- I wouldn't place too much importance on it. I've had formal diagnoses (started with depression, then the antidepressants caused me act crazy, so I got diagnosed with bipolar, then the bipolar meds gave me a new diagnosis of anxiety, and so on and so forth). I found that I do much better without meds. Eating right, exercising, and being sure to get outside for at least 30 minutes each day is key for me.

I remember reading a study where researchers examined changes in the pleasure centers of the brain. It was interesting- even when people were doing things they believed they enjoyed (watching their favorite movies, playing their favorite videogames) their brains showed signs of depression whenever it had to do with digital technology. Conversely, even people who claimed to "not be outdoorsy" had their pleasure centers light up when they touched a piece of bark or smelled a flower. Our brains know us better than we know ourselves.

Be gentle with yourself. These are difficult times we're living in.

I have issues with focus, and while this is not a quick fix, practice over time has helped me a lot.

It is a meditation, where you sit (or lay down, whatever is comfortable just try not to fall asleep), set a timer for 10-20 minutes, and breathe. On the exhale, count up from 0-21, and then back down from 21-0. So it would be inhale, exhale 1. inhale, exhale 2. etc, up to 21, then count down again. Then count up again, then count down again. Do that until your timer goes off.

If at any point you lose track of your count, just start over.

The idea is not that the whole point is to stay with the count as best you can. The idea is that, when your mind wanders (because, inevitably it will), you exercise the brain muscle to actively come back to focus on the count. Forgot where you were? No problem. Just start over. So, you're exercising a muscle to retrain your focus.

I started with 10 minutes, now I do about 20 minutes. I do this about three times a week. It's helped a lot, to my surprise.

Also, if you get anxious or stressed at any point during the meditation...just stop for that day lol. I don't know why but a couple times I just got really stressed out trying to do it, and it doesn't help to force yourself, so I took a break.

I have an ASD, and the same problem with “switching gears” mentally. I haven’t found any natural/OTC supplements that were effective (I know a few people who have had success with mushroom supplements), except for taurine (which is often paired with caffeine, which makes me anxious and jittery). I have had a little success with mindfulness meditation. If I take a few minutes to reset my mind between tasks, i find it’s easier to refocus.

Yes, it is very common.

3 point to-do lists are great. (ADD people have trouble with more than 3 items on a to-do list). Put your 3 most essential tasks for the day down on a list.

Check out https://www.additudemag.com/ for useful tips and such.

Fellow ADHDer here (self diagnosed, tbh). I read that exercise (aerobic, 30 mins a day) helps with ADHD symptoms, as much as medication does (got this info from Spark- the Effects of Exercise by John Ratey). Also Wim Hof breathing technique. I tried both and I feel that it improves my clarity and focus. But most of all, I find that I am able to keep my focus most when I do ALL of the following things in the SAME ORDER (I stack these one after the other):

1. Waking up at the same time everyday

2. Doing my morning pages journalling

3. Doing an exercise routine (I can currently do only 15 minutes before my brain screams at me to stop😅)

4. Doing ONE productive work thing in the first half of the day, before opening any other distraction (the stuff you should be doing, but you put off). It need not be the whole task- just a part of it. Sometimes, it's as small as opening the pdf file I'm supposed to read. I break down my jobs and agendas into bite sized tasks and record them in an excel sheet. Ticking one off in the morning (when my energy is high) leads to ticking off more tasks later

If I miss any one or do it in the wrong order, my focus is gone in a poof. It's very frustrating and I feel tremendously burdened...but yeah.

Also, this is a nice podcast- The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast on spotify

Can you gain access to an ADHD counselor or psychiatrist? The issues you are describing are classic symptoms of the neurological disorder ADHD. You say you want to go to the natural route, but medication is a critical tool in managing this disorder. And it's important to remember that this is a disorder, not just an annoying issue of not being able to focus. Medication will not cure you and must be part of holistic care, and utilizing a professional is the best course to achieving it.

I say this as someone who was given medication for ADHD at a young age in order to simply suppress symptoms to achieve compliance as dictated by my parents. And also is someone who is now taking it as part of comprehensive and holistic care as an adult. You are young and have so much opportunity for you. Set yourself up to succeed. Medication is not your enemy and ADHD is not treated like it was in the '90s.

I am EXACTLY like you.

I can't help much unfortunately.. I have not managed this well for the past years. I have a neurodivergence so it might be that, but when I asked to my terapist a few years ago, she asked me if I was like this as a kid and I wasn't. I was hyperactive sure but I had no trouble with focus. I developed this as a teen. It gets better when I work well with other people, my nervous system is regulated, my emotional needs are met and after unrelated EMDR sessions. So I've come to the conclusion that trauma plays a big role for me. My take is, hyperactive brain + trauma = loss of focus control.

But yeah, if anything is wrong, the ability to manage focus is the first thing to go. I try to surf the hyperfocus waves but it's exhausting.

Tbh the only thing that mostly fix the problem for me is shared focus with others (or shared deadlines, anything that create an external boundary for me to work within), AND physical movement.

I'm slowly coming to accept that despite having high initiative, and tons of ideas, I'm unable to productively work on my own and I need to work in teams.

I wish I could help but I can only offer you my solidarity.