Any sources on how to quit pleaple pleasing?

Hey Queens! Any advise on some good sources on how to stop being a people pleaser? Any books, videos, articles?

I know that it's not such a simple thing to do to just stop being one, otherwise I would have done it long time ago. I know that at the root of it is often some trauma/s (I'm in therapy). So, to truly stop being a people pleaser you gotta heal you wounds that caused you to be this way. But such healing is a long path. In a meantime I'd consume some more easyly digestable non-academic but still helpful content on the topic. Any suggestions?

Also, the topic is related to being a woman. As a woman you gotta find a balance to not be a doormat but at the same time stay safe and not provoke some deranged male speciment

11 answers0 replies

Comments (11)

bearfruit

Nov 21, 2022

I let Deborrah Cooper yell at me until I cut it out.

The B*tch Manifesto also helped:

https://www.jofreeman.com/joreen/bitch.htm

Megara

Nov 21, 2022

Replying to

Familiar face, thanks for the great advice! I'll try that

Update: listened yesterday to Deb Cooper. It was amazing! Saved it to my new Youtube playslist "Don't be nice".

WinterLady

Nov 21, 2022

Replying to

“To the extent to which they relate to her a a human being, they refuse to relate to her as a sexual being” 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Bitch Manifesto

SereneQueen

Nov 21, 2022

“When Pleasing You Is Killing Me” helped me greatly on my journey to put myself first and minimize my people-pleasing tendencies! https://www.amazon.com/When-Pleasing-You-Killing-Me/dp/1543935125

Megara

Nov 21, 2022

Replying to

Even the title sounds wise, thank you! People pleasing might be a worse habit than smoking tbh

Shannon

Nov 21, 2022

I've heard the book "Why Men Love Bitches" is good for this. I haven't read it, but I'm planning to pick up a copy soon.

Is "The Gift Of Fear" also good for this? Thoughts from anyone who's read it?

Megara

Nov 21, 2022

Replying to

I wish younger me read "Why Men Love Bitches". Now I'm trying to decenter men and they rarely come into equation at all. But when they do, gotta read it, thanks a lot! The "Gift of fear" sounds good. Might be good for that balance to keep yourself safe. Although I'm quite "gifted" at this moment in my life already 😅. But definitely hope to read it in the future. Thank you so much for amazing suggestions! 💐

creamtart

Nov 22, 2022

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I absolutely love the book “Get Out of Your Own Way” by Mark Goulston. Straightforward guide to develop boundaries and help address some of the behaviour you’ve identified.