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Besides initial physical attraction that goes both ways, as well as kindness, I'm more and more convinced that the big five trait of agreeableness is something a man must possess to be with me long-term. I've run into SO MANY men who argue for the sake of argument, and I don't get it.
Folks, my middle school students used to do this. I see my great-niece, who's in single digits, doing this, as a childish/childlike way to begin the separation process from her parents. From children, I get it. From adults, I do NOT get it. I simply see no point.
I for one never bickered when I was a kid; I'd simply walk away, and I'm still doing that. I get that for children, bickering is problem-solving, but it's just so contentious and argumentative, it is no fun whatsoever. I was raised where if there's a problem, you collaborate and cooperate. If you have different ideas, you listen to each other, decide on the best idea, then implement it. I just don't see much use in arguing or fighting for power and control. Just solve the damn problem already.
Furthermore, there are ways to disagree without being disagreeable. I wish men would learn this; it's the hallmark of being a civilized person, a lady or gentleman. To my way of thinking, if a man bickers or argues constantly, he's not emotionally a true adult; he's stuck in some early form of development, and who needs or wants that? Thank you next!
Because life is a competition. To be the manliest man you need to out-do everyone else. Fuck living in peace and harmony 😶
Agreed. 😄
Though I would add that we need to beware of pretend agreeableness. With the pretend version, he won't argue, but he's actually bottling up resentment and will explode later. My father is like this and it is scary.
It's not the truly civilized agreeableness you're talking about - it just can deceptively look a lot like it... until he explodes anyway.
A million times yes!
I've run into SO MANY men who argue for the sake of argument, and I don't get it.
They're abusive and insecure. It's that simple, and it's not a leap, unfortunately. He also just wants to hear himself talk.
Had a dude after first talking to me tell me that he is super manipulative and loves arguing, in his own exact words.
That's the first thing he told me about himself. My first thought was "So, you abuse women." And I was right. He's too scared to argue with other men in person, of course, they could beat him up! He's not manipulating men either, because men arent socialized to accommodate anyone but themselves, so there's no "niceness" to rely on. Plus, men don't clean up his mess and fuck him. They don't serve him.
Wow, it's complete opposite in my life. Most men I meet seem too agreeable and very passive. I hate that so much, but maybe because I am more disagreeable and assertive than an average dude.