I felt like this last year when I turned 34 in January. For a few months I went through this intense depression about my age. Then one day in March my dad randomly gave me his copy of Brave New World, which is all about social conditioning. It helped me realize that my thoughts and feelings surrounding my age were all conditioned. The more I hate my appearance and age, the more I spend on beauty products and procedures. That March I deleted my instagram account and stopped using Facebook. Social media reinforces our conditioning and I've been 10x better since. I was even able to get off nicotine that month, which had been an addiction of mine for the last 5 years.
Additionally, I refuse to have any products in my house with "anti aging" labels. Fuck that shit. Those 10 year old kids in Val Verde Texas who were gunned down a few months ago will never have the opportunity to live to 35 like I have. People younger than me die every day. The lines on my face are a gift - they signify long life.
Not at all. I will turn 40 tomorrow, and I'm so excited. I have taken up figure skating and am in excellent shape. My skin is finally cleared of the hormonal acne birth control pills caused. I have my own house and car, and I have children and dogs who adore me. You couldn't make me go back to my younger years for all the money in the world!
I’m looking forward to it tbh. I know I’ll be less fraught without the angst and restlessness of youth. I look forward to being wiser, happy and settled. And I’ve always seen beauty as a neutral standalone attribute, not necessarily tied to youth (and I mean conventional beauty).
I’ve seen many women in their 50’s, 60’s and beyond I thought were absolutely gorgeous. My mother didn't live past her mid 30's so in a way I feel like I get to live for her. I know I'll never stop being curious and having new wonderful experiences.
There are two major lines of thought that can trigger this fear I think. Is aging seen from a perspective of losing beauty, or from the perspective of a fear of actual death or physical incapacity? Once this is identified then a solution can be determined.
Unknown member
Sep 11, 2022
Nah, sis. I'm in my early forties and feel better than ever. Perimenopause is starting, which means my periods are shorter and there's a longer time between them. I give zero fucks about the opinions of others, even people I genuinely respect, because I have come to realize that another person's beliefs about me are none of my business. I live my life on my terms, with my choices and values as guideposts. Brushing LV people off my lapels like so many rain droplets is second nature to me now.
Aging is awesome; it's a privilege and a gift. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise and focus less on your looks than your general health. Holistic attention to your body's condition will naturally lead to physical beauty, and unlike almost all men my age, I don't resemble a baseball glove with hair. The Wall is a myth and a cope by hideous scrotes whose rapidly fading youth is all they have going for them. Don't fall for it.
What is triggering this? Go on a fast from both social media and mainstream media and fashion/beauty/cosmetics . Journal how you feel during this time.
17
Unknown member
Sep 11, 2022
Replying to
No thanks. I dont watch tv and I dont care about fashion or cosmetics.
Unknown member
Sep 11, 2022
No. Women aren't just their appearance.I have brains, multiple degrees, many hobbies I'm good at. I'm great at my job. My friends don't like me because of my physicals.Growing up I was praised for being more than just cute or pretty.My self confidence isn't solely based on my appearance, it's about who I am as a person.
13
Unknown member
Sep 11, 2022
Replying to
Don't worry. I wish Sarah the best in levelling up and aiming her energies in the right places going forward.
I'm 32 now. I felt this hard when I was 23-25, and when I tried talking about my worries to others, I was totally blown off and laughed at because I was "so young, what are you worrying about?" I was worried that I had less than 10 years of life left to have value in the world. It was devastating that I wasn't taken seriously. I was distraught. What was I supposed to do with so little time?
What really helped me was when I started taking fitness classes like yoga. The teacher was in her mid-40s and I remember thinking, "Gosh, she's so beautiful." And she really was. And not in a "youthful" way--she had some wrinkles and she sure didn't pass for a 20-year-old (and she wasn't trying to), but it started to get my mind working around beauty and aging. She didn't wear makeup or have fancy hair. I thought, what is it about her that is so magnetic and attractive if not youth? I realized it was her grace, and her centeredness, that were so transcendent.
Since then I've made an active effort to notice women who are older who seem attractive, or at peace, or have that magnetic quality. If it's not youth, then what is it? Maybe her smile, or her happiness, or some other quality.
And, since then, I've focused on embracing those qualities in myself. How to be more graceful, or centered, or happy.
I have no doubt that I'll be in my 80s with wrinkles and grey hair, and people will say "I don't understand it but...beyond all reason, I am HELPLESSLY attracted to this woman!!" 😉
Grace might be different for different people, but for me it's come from a sense of feeling and connection to my body. A lot of it has come from yoga and dance, and noticing how my muscles move together to do certain things. Noticing how I move through the world, and taking the time to do so. Connecting to my sense of touch and physical feeling, and thinking about what I find curious or interesting about movement. It doesn't need to be a performance or male-gazey, but rather more of an enhancement for me in my internal world. Like getting in the car and letting my fingers linger on the steering wheel, noticing the material and how it feels on my fingertips before turning on the car. Or as I'm sweeping the house, noticing if I move my hips or my feet first as I step, and what happens if I switch it up? Can I make a more fluid movement? Just having fun and finding moments of interest and intrigue in otherwise mundane daily life tasks.
I’m about to turn 33 and nope. I have decided about marriage and kids (double free), which I know it is different if I wanted to have a family. I quitted drinking, I eat healthy and exercise 6 times/week to get old on the healthiest possible way. To be fair the only thing I have been worried about is gray hair, bc I have got some and haven’t decided if I am dying it or let them come.
More just following FDS basics and not letting scrotes talk me into a fear of aging. But some luck too, scrote. Sure. Reported.
Unknown member
Sep 11, 2022
You know what. It's not like I am not overly worried about it rather I am not overly worried anymore. Basically, just about anything in my life I do tons of research. Right from beauty standards in my region to any confidence work etc. What helped me level up here was investing money into my own ageing. Investment in my future who won't work the whole 35 hours like I do at 27. Investment in a health regimen that makes me look like my mum, grandmum and aunts etc presently. Small future planning every now and then. Realising my youth which is now also helped me prioritise living instead of being overtly afraid of anything. So, two keywords boundaries and priorities like everywhere else, prioritise what it is that you can't absolutely miss and remember to let go of everything else to better manage time.
I'm 48 and yes, it bothers me sometimes, but I focus on my self-care. I remind myself it's not about trying to be the prettiest, but about taking my best possible self-care, and feeling good that I did.
Honestly I don't worry very much about my appearance but I do worry about decreasing fertility due to ageing as I want to have more kids! I know I need to come to a place of acceptance & stop stressing.
I cared more about wrinkles in my 20s than in my 30s. Got over that shit, when I realised staring into a magnifying mirror, no ones skin looks good, and photos taken in poor light would make a 16yo look haggard.
I think eating plenty of vitamin C is good for the skin and just doing things that make you happy.
I'm still in my early twenties but aging is something I've thought about.I'm not worried at all about looking older because I see that as a privilege but I do think about potential health issues as I get older. That's why I invest a lot in skincare, eating healthily and exercising regularly. I feel like if I'm doing my best on that front, then I don't need to worry about aging in that respect either.I was talking with some of my friends the other day about going grey and we all were of the opinion that we can't wait! I've got another 20 years or so until then but still. You've had the same hair colour your whole life and now you finally get something different. I've always thought grey hair looks great on women if it's styled well and they're dressed nicely. That said, if women want to dye their hair it's their choice and I don't have an issue with it. It's just one of the things I'm personally looking forward to.
I am concerned. What bothers me is that, according to men, I will “hit the wall” soon, but my entire early 20’s when I was at my prime (like age 18-27) I never got ANY male attention whatsoever. If I was supposed to find a husband during that time and was supposed to have a bunch of men into me, then what happened? Where were the guys asking me on dates? Why did no one want me when I was young and beautiful? Why did I feel so hated and ugly? And now I am older and objectively fatter and less attractive. And dudes like me now. Why Do they like me now?
They don't know what they want. I only got any tangible male attention (verbal/ physical) from 23+ now at 29 it is at the all time maximum. Was invisible outcast to men form 15-22. Although I was extremely looks conscious and always put massive effort into my appearance. This is just proof that is is a fool's errand to try to listen to men. They don't know what is best for US, they don't know anything about life or attraction. They just want to complain about the few things that they can't have. I.e. f*ing young girls because they know they will look like a creep.
Unknown member
Sep 12, 2022
When I see younger women I think to myself I had my heyday now it’s their turn. And I’m genuinely happy for them. I’ve had a great life; time to share and count my blessings. Seeing women enjoying life and attaining success makes it easier to relinquish the baton.
Yes. I’ve always been complimented (almost solely) on my looks all my life, having been a model and pageant queen and it’s become the only thing that defines me so I’m terrified of what will happen when I inevitably age. I have an Indian background and my parents look 20+ years younger than they are and I’ve had Botox since I was 22 due to severe chronic headaches, so I’m yet to see any wrinkles or fine lines but it’s a constant stress. I also grew up w an eating disorder and I am so scared of my metabolism slowing as I age; I can’t imagine how devastated I will be if I put on weight. I know I have more to offer, like my intelligence, degrees, acting and writing etc but ageing is my biggest fear. The hammering in from the manosphere via my brother isn’t helping either.
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I felt like this last year when I turned 34 in January. For a few months I went through this intense depression about my age. Then one day in March my dad randomly gave me his copy of Brave New World, which is all about social conditioning. It helped me realize that my thoughts and feelings surrounding my age were all conditioned. The more I hate my appearance and age, the more I spend on beauty products and procedures. That March I deleted my instagram account and stopped using Facebook. Social media reinforces our conditioning and I've been 10x better since. I was even able to get off nicotine that month, which had been an addiction of mine for the last 5 years.
Additionally, I refuse to have any products in my house with "anti aging" labels. Fuck that shit. Those 10 year old kids in Val Verde Texas who were gunned down a few months ago will never have the opportunity to live to 35 like I have. People younger than me die every day. The lines on my face are a gift - they signify long life.
Not at all. I will turn 40 tomorrow, and I'm so excited. I have taken up figure skating and am in excellent shape. My skin is finally cleared of the hormonal acne birth control pills caused. I have my own house and car, and I have children and dogs who adore me. You couldn't make me go back to my younger years for all the money in the world!
Nah, sis. I'm in my early forties and feel better than ever. Perimenopause is starting, which means my periods are shorter and there's a longer time between them. I give zero fucks about the opinions of others, even people I genuinely respect, because I have come to realize that another person's beliefs about me are none of my business. I live my life on my terms, with my choices and values as guideposts. Brushing LV people off my lapels like so many rain droplets is second nature to me now.
Aging is awesome; it's a privilege and a gift. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise and focus less on your looks than your general health. Holistic attention to your body's condition will naturally lead to physical beauty, and unlike almost all men my age, I don't resemble a baseball glove with hair. The Wall is a myth and a cope by hideous scrotes whose rapidly fading youth is all they have going for them. Don't fall for it.
What is triggering this? Go on a fast from both social media and mainstream media and fashion/beauty/cosmetics . Journal how you feel during this time.
No. Women aren't just their appearance. I have brains, multiple degrees, many hobbies I'm good at. I'm great at my job. My friends don't like me because of my physicals. Growing up I was praised for being more than just cute or pretty. My self confidence isn't solely based on my appearance, it's about who I am as a person.
I'm 32 now. I felt this hard when I was 23-25, and when I tried talking about my worries to others, I was totally blown off and laughed at because I was "so young, what are you worrying about?" I was worried that I had less than 10 years of life left to have value in the world. It was devastating that I wasn't taken seriously. I was distraught. What was I supposed to do with so little time?
What really helped me was when I started taking fitness classes like yoga. The teacher was in her mid-40s and I remember thinking, "Gosh, she's so beautiful." And she really was. And not in a "youthful" way--she had some wrinkles and she sure didn't pass for a 20-year-old (and she wasn't trying to), but it started to get my mind working around beauty and aging. She didn't wear makeup or have fancy hair. I thought, what is it about her that is so magnetic and attractive if not youth? I realized it was her grace, and her centeredness, that were so transcendent.
Since then I've made an active effort to notice women who are older who seem attractive, or at peace, or have that magnetic quality. If it's not youth, then what is it? Maybe her smile, or her happiness, or some other quality.
And, since then, I've focused on embracing those qualities in myself. How to be more graceful, or centered, or happy.
I have no doubt that I'll be in my 80s with wrinkles and grey hair, and people will say "I don't understand it but...beyond all reason, I am HELPLESSLY attracted to this woman!!" 😉
Nope. Men aren't concerned about aging, we shouldn't be either. I refuse to buy anything anti-aging
I’m about to turn 33 and nope. I have decided about marriage and kids (double free), which I know it is different if I wanted to have a family. I quitted drinking, I eat healthy and exercise 6 times/week to get old on the healthiest possible way. To be fair the only thing I have been worried about is gray hair, bc I have got some and haven’t decided if I am dying it or let them come.
Nope, not even a bit. The older I get the better I feel about pretty much everything, including myself.
You know what. It's not like I am not overly worried about it rather I am not overly worried anymore. Basically, just about anything in my life I do tons of research. Right from beauty standards in my region to any confidence work etc. What helped me level up here was investing money into my own ageing. Investment in my future who won't work the whole 35 hours like I do at 27. Investment in a health regimen that makes me look like my mum, grandmum and aunts etc presently. Small future planning every now and then. Realising my youth which is now also helped me prioritise living instead of being overtly afraid of anything. So, two keywords boundaries and priorities like everywhere else, prioritise what it is that you can't absolutely miss and remember to let go of everything else to better manage time.
I'm 48 and yes, it bothers me sometimes, but I focus on my self-care. I remind myself it's not about trying to be the prettiest, but about taking my best possible self-care, and feeling good that I did.
Honestly I don't worry very much about my appearance but I do worry about decreasing fertility due to ageing as I want to have more kids! I know I need to come to a place of acceptance & stop stressing.
I cared more about wrinkles in my 20s than in my 30s. Got over that shit, when I realised staring into a magnifying mirror, no ones skin looks good, and photos taken in poor light would make a 16yo look haggard.
I think eating plenty of vitamin C is good for the skin and just doing things that make you happy.
I'm still in my early twenties but aging is something I've thought about. I'm not worried at all about looking older because I see that as a privilege but I do think about potential health issues as I get older. That's why I invest a lot in skincare, eating healthily and exercising regularly. I feel like if I'm doing my best on that front, then I don't need to worry about aging in that respect either. I was talking with some of my friends the other day about going grey and we all were of the opinion that we can't wait! I've got another 20 years or so until then but still. You've had the same hair colour your whole life and now you finally get something different. I've always thought grey hair looks great on women if it's styled well and they're dressed nicely. That said, if women want to dye their hair it's their choice and I don't have an issue with it. It's just one of the things I'm personally looking forward to.
I am concerned. What bothers me is that, according to men, I will “hit the wall” soon, but my entire early 20’s when I was at my prime (like age 18-27) I never got ANY male attention whatsoever. If I was supposed to find a husband during that time and was supposed to have a bunch of men into me, then what happened? Where were the guys asking me on dates? Why did no one want me when I was young and beautiful? Why did I feel so hated and ugly? And now I am older and objectively fatter and less attractive. And dudes like me now. Why Do they like me now?
When I see younger women I think to myself I had my heyday now it’s their turn. And I’m genuinely happy for them. I’ve had a great life; time to share and count my blessings. Seeing women enjoying life and attaining success makes it easier to relinquish the baton.
(TW: MENTION OF ED)
Yes. I’ve always been complimented (almost solely) on my looks all my life, having been a model and pageant queen and it’s become the only thing that defines me so I’m terrified of what will happen when I inevitably age. I have an Indian background and my parents look 20+ years younger than they are and I’ve had Botox since I was 22 due to severe chronic headaches, so I’m yet to see any wrinkles or fine lines but it’s a constant stress. I also grew up w an eating disorder and I am so scared of my metabolism slowing as I age; I can’t imagine how devastated I will be if I put on weight. I know I have more to offer, like my intelligence, degrees, acting and writing etc but ageing is my biggest fear. The hammering in from the manosphere via my brother isn’t helping either.