Age/League Dysmorphia in Men

I’ve never read the handbook, just so you know. I understand this is a community with agreed upon rules and whatnot but although sex work is exploitive, it’s a product of capitalism and I’m willing to bet most of us don’t believe ourselves to be literal slaves when we clock into work. I’m not a sex work activist so my view on women who feel like they have no choice is the same as people who work 40 hour weeks and still can’t manage to find housing. Both are victims of the same “rapey” capitalist society that I’ve been able to benefit from, not based off of solely my own hard work but based mostly on the divinely blessed circumstances I just happened to be born into.

I appreciate your objective criticism of my post tho! 😌 As opposed to the accusations of trolling 🥴

Did you just compare ACTUAL rape to filing paperwork? That is so fucked up. What is wrong with you? That’s Honorary Scrote level of misogyny. This kinda mindset is likely what’s attracting so many NV people to you, no HVM would ever want to be around a woman who defends rapists. Yuck. 🤢 Do better, sis.

That's what trolls do. They want engagement and rage.

Yup. Pretty decent 7/10 trolling. Could also be newbie pick me internalized misogyny. Doesn't really matter.

Nice list, you be well tho! Never been accused of being a troll on the internet but I guess there’s a first time for most things 😅

What part of complaining is a flex? Quite a stretch. You must do yoga, girlfriend.

Ladies this is also such an important read - heartbreaking testimony from survivors of prostitution: https://nordicmodelnow.org/2018/09/08/survivors-speak-out-about-what-prostitution-is-really-like/

This was the best response. I do not believe she is a troll. Just at the beginning of her journey. I loved your views on a mixed economy and the summary about the comparison being reductionist. Very well put ❤️ I love your mind!

Thank you!❤️

On your first paragraph - I agree. I remember being 25 and 30 - 50 year old men would flirt with me, thinking I was under 18. Their advances would increase when i would clarify my actual age, and i knew their intentions were to fulfil some sick porn dream they had. When I was even younger, I still had older men hitting on me. It was disgusting and totally put me off of dating as I felt like all men who were interested in me must be pedos. Now that Im 30, I still get teenage guys flirting with me, but I’m pretty sure i look older, and I love telling men I’m 30 as the moment they find out, it deters the ones who have a youth fetish (Im referring to the men my age or older). Im also Catholic and if you go onto traditional Catholic spaces (such as reddit subs), now that I’m 30 I get told over and over again that Im too old now for men my own age, and that they would only be interested in women around 20-25. That i can only date men at least 45-50 now. It seems that in those spaces, they only value a woman for her youth, beauty and fertility. There’s no actual value in who she is or offers as a person. I actually love the fact that im getting older, because it makes me feel more secure and less likely to attract pedos.

It never occurred to me how violent prostitution is before reading up on it, and getting more of the perspectives of women who support the Nordic model. I never even heard of the Nordic model.

Now I see media mostly controlled by men made damn sure most people don't think about such things. Or if we think about it at all, we think it's not that different from just having sex, which on the surface sounds more fun than working a regular job. Especially when this is presented as a way to make "easy money fast".

Of course, if it sounds too good to be true, that's because it is.

I'm not gonna be too hard on you if you're willing to learn. Because I remember what it was like to be new to all this.

LV/HV etc are not determined by money/financial success. Although the ability or at the very least demonstrated ambition for self sufficiency is a mark of good character for an adult. Men cannot share the biological task of birth, coupled with other inequities such as unequal wages, and uneven distribution of domestic and child rearing responsibilities. Women pay many hidden taxes, so yes, men that are providers are a common preference, but not necessarily demonstrative of HV. This encapsulates kindness, value sets amongst other things. I chose Program Manager at a prestige company for emphasis. And as another member mentioned, sex work is demonstrably more dangerous with far reaching consequences. The core demo of employees are vulnerable desperate young girls groomed into sex work or sex trafficking. FDS disapproves of sex work, not individual sex workers. I’ve always wondered, with the libfem men who spout this, why the first option when someone needs help is to undo their zippers? It’s sick. If I came across a vulnerable young boy, I would give direction to resources or give him money if I can and wish him well. It wouldn’t even occur to me to think sex. It’s warped. And unfortunately so normalized. The complete commodification of the woman as a commercial product for male pleasure. There’s a reason sex workers are fewer in countries where women are thriving.

The first thing is to separate out sex workers from sex work. We support the workers as fellow women, but not the work they do.

This isn't to blame them. The typical sex worker story is one of grooming and/or abuse. How many children tell their parents they want to become a prostitute as opposed to becoming a firefighter or a doctor?

They get into it because of the supposed benefit of easy money for little work. When you have no prospect of a future I bet that looks real enticing. However, it's not a career. Not many will earn a decent amount, despite what OF wants 18 yr old girls to believe. Every woman will be aged out with no retirement.

Let's take a sidebar into politics, whilst we are on money. Female-identified careers earn you less money than male ones. I like to ask people what female careers there are that pay well, and the only answer I have received was modelling. Yes: to earn money as a woman you can sell your body, but only if you look hot.

Society (ie the patriarchy) only values how we look. I've met models - they have more body issues than the rest of us. Understandably, their income and inherent value comes from how they look.

Apply this logic across - what do you think is going on for the sex workers? Especially the 18 yr old girls thinking of OF?

Next up, do you think a man will take a woman home, proudly introduce her to the family, and when they ask what she does for a living, say "gives blowjobs for 20 bucks apiece." I don't see it.

Men don't and won't respect a prostitute.

Court systems: we all know that if you make an allegation, you as the victim will be on trial more than the perpetrator. Being a sex worker is going to give the defence an easy win. It sucks, but we all know it's true. Consent can be removed at any time, but not in a rape trial.

Or on the job. Sex workers are always in dangerous situations, and are highly likely to be assaulted. There's something about going into private locations with men who don't respect women. Hmm. If she changes her mind, why, he's already bought consent.

Yeah - sex work is not real work. It's far grittier, more dangerous, is rife with disease and drug use to numb the emotional pain. And by doing it you'll lose far more than you gain. The women who come through it are some badass bitches. Respect.