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A cheap or broke man will negatively affect your future in small and large ways. There will be little happiness and much resentment and frustration.
When I was house hunting recently I viewed two houses that had belonged to elderly women who outlived their husbands and had recently passed away. Both women had lived in their houses for their entire marriages and up until their deaths. The houses really left an impression on me.
The first house had never been updated, was leaning to the right, everything inside was cheap and ruined or broken, there was water pouring in through the roof upstairs, and it had a serial killer “man cave” basement. Even if you gutted everything, it was structurally unsound. Her cheap, broke, dead husband never put a cent into the house after purchasing it and didn’t leave her anything but the house when he died. She didn’t even have enough to move into a seniors’ home. She died living in only the front room of the leaning, wet, mouldy house due to mobility issues. The house had started falling apart around her. Her son who was trying to sell it listed it for double what anyone would pay and when no one showed interest, he started trying to “fix” it up by painting one coat of white paint over mouldy kitchen cabinets and wood panelling. It was one of the most depressing things I’ve seen.
The second house was built by the woman’s husband who was a successful contractor and talented carpenter and cabinet maker. He built many houses in the area. It was pristine, beautiful, dry, and full of delightful details and customizations. It was so well cared for and loved. The neighbours said the wife wanted for nothing and her husband gave her anything she asked for. Her son looked after her when her husband died and he obviously had a good example in his father. She lived to 96 and died happy.
Which woman would you rather be?
"Men are visual creatures" but are happy to surround themselves with squalor
Yeah, cheap men are the worst. Even if they have a lot of money, they'll never let you benefit from it. I've had boyfriends who would share whatever few bucks they had with me, and I've had a loaded ex who would have a higher baseline of spending on himself and us, sure, but he also made a huge fuss about money and would never ever let me forget how much he spent on me (which was only a tiny portion of his wealth anyway). Meanwhile, I have almost 100% of what I had to "match" him because he was "so generous", and I tried extra hard to make up for earning less than him in other ways (which he did start to expect). I've a had a comfortable life financially speaking but it was so hollow and I paid a huge emotional price for it. If a man is cheap, he will make you miserable, no matter his pay grade.
This is why I even stay away from (and advise other ladies to do the same) from men who want to flip the script over gender roles and wanna become stay at home hubbies or daddies yet put nearly zero effort into maintaining a home as well as taking care of the babies even if the wife is making major bank at her job. A man who refuses to level up in his professional career and keeps staying in dead end, minimum wage jobs because touching a book scares him are never going to make you or the family happy, safe, and secure, now and in the future.
We're not gold diggers. Most men don't even possess the gold at all for us to dig into. We're being smart about the financial future and all the risks involved when dealing with men up close and personal. Poverty is inherently and extremely traumatizing. Parents get into drugs or abusing alcohol to escape the painful reality of being poor, children get beaten to a pulp because of these personal issues, and it's more likely for men to get into violent crime when they don't have a lot of money, leaving the woman and the children at risk for a horrific life.
You can be broke or cheap but make up for that with effort. There’s a wide wealth of free information out there. It’s really telling to me when people would pick a Styrofoam foam piece of crap over something more expensive just to save a few pennies. If you really can’t afford something, why not learn how to make it yourself. Or take something cheap and make it better. Wouldn’t most people want a home that was smaller and nicer, than one they couldn’t afford even if it was bigger. It’s that lack of longitudinal thinking that I realize is such a big turn off for me
True story. My NV father never made any improvements around the family house and barely fixed anything; house is a mess and my pick-me mother gave up on it too.😒 My fiancé made our home according to my vision and I don't have to even ask him to fix something, he's already on it or apologizes that he can't fix it as soon as he noticed it. ❤️
My favorite part is when the good husband raised a good son. It's hard not to brag about my Nigel sometimes, but he's a pretty accomplished hobbiest woodworker, and it definitely adds value to my life. Highly recommend.
Lol I want to be the second woman but (living with my parents rn) I am living in the first house. I notice when my mom asks my dad to do house repairs he does an intentional sloppy, bad job. The backyard patio concrete was cracked and there was supposed to be way more concrete poured to fill it up so the bottom doesn't sink in. He just slapped concrete over the top, didn't smooth it out so now there's an ugly crag. The roof is leaking and my dad has gone up there several times but it never gets fixed. Yet my pickme mom acts like she is hotsh!t because she has a house that is slowly falling apart... she really thinks she's flexing on me by saying "she kept a man" because she hates that I'm talking with her sister (my aunt) who chose to stay single and happy.
This upsets me so much that the first house's son was a scrote to his mom. He could have worked on that house, he could have lived with her somewhere else and sold it as is. Sons are so damn useless.
Love you bearfruit!