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The current season of Married At First Sight UK ended some time ago and one of the guys on the show, George, was exposed for being controlling and engaging in coercive behaviour by some exes of his. These women told the producers of the show about his behaviour in order to stop him from getting on the show but they didn't listen and let him on anyway.
On the show, he got married to a lady called April and he proceeded to talk about how he's been rejected and cheated on by women. He cried a lot and came across as a guy who wanted a real relationship but was always hurt and disrespected by women. It turns out, that he was what many of these types of guys are - controlling and manipulative, so much so, his marriage to April didn't last and now, they're divorced. I didn't finish watching the show but read that he started to treat badly to April too. He's now on Bumble, looking for love and interestingly enough, one of his photos is of him in the suit that he wore to marry April. Here's his story here: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-11541479/Married-Sight-UK-star-George-Roberts-looking-love-dating-app-Bumble.html
I'm writing all this to say that we should remember that any time a man is emotional and talking about how women treated him badly, one of two things are the truth:
1) those women cheated on him or rejected him because he was the issue and they did this to get away from him
or
2) he's outrightly lying that previous exes have hurt him and he was the abuser that hurt them
I would advise that we remain watchful with men that tell us that they've been hurt by women because while they could be telling the truth, seeing as women can indeed hurt men, men are notorious liars who will turn stories on their heads (i.e. he was the abuser and she was the victim). I would recommend that we take what men say with a pinch of salt and as we already know, watch their actions more than their words. A lot of men can be telling the truth about an ex who cheated or was even physically abusive but for a lot of men, they take out their hurt on others; others being mostly women, in order to get back at their ex.
Lundy Bancroft talks about it in his book: Why Does He Do That?
Be watchful ladies!
Yes! This! Also when they talk about a "crazy" ex. Usually she wasn't crazy - he made her.
Two words: divorced men. Lying, liar, liar pants. If you ask him why they divorced six times, you’ll get six different answers —none of them true. They know they’re damaged goods we don’t want. They know it will lessen their chances of a woman wanting them. Of course men lie.
A matching red flag is men who can’t stop talking about how awesome they are. How clever they are. How he‘s such a stud he has to beat the ladies away with a stick. He’s lying again. He knows he ain’t sh*t.
The men who lie about their exes and lie about not sucking are used car salesman trying to trick you into accepting a lemon —except instead of a lemon you get a manipulative parasite.
Well, it depends. It would be irrational to say that men can never be hurt by women and if they are, then it's their own fault. However, how they talk about it matters. As a victim of abuse, I know how true victims talk and feel. They don't volunteer all the info straight away because they're ashamed. They blame themselves. They empathize with their (former) partners. They don't make damning judgments like "crazy" or "sick". They struggle to use words like abuse or rape because of all the gaslighting. If a man tells a dramatic story of how he's been hurt, yeah, it's probably untrue or not the whole truth. But it's not always a lie if he says he's been hurt by a former partner.
a similar red flag is if he has good things to say about his exes but his relationship count is pretty high. he's hiding something.
Good women don't leave good men. In fact, good women have a hard time leaving mediocre and even abusive men just because the quality of men is so abysmal out here. So i usually assume a man is projecting and telling me what he did in the relationship, and I've yet to be wrong.
I’m sure that’s what my ex did. He was married a year after we separated/divorced and now she is pregnant after 6 months to being with him. My son (he is at his dad half the time) tells me that his dad yells at his wife … I’m not surprised, what a piece of shit he is. She is pregnant and he is yelling at her. He is a miserable human being and I feel sorry for her honestly. He probably told her so much shit about me that she thinks I’m the crazy one even though my ex’s family love me and they still talk to me. 😆😁 I’m just so happy I’m not in her place.
Too real. I knew such a type before and he propped himself up to be this super sensitive romantic type on the lookout for his sole m8 online, and that he would tell me outrageous stories about how his exes treated him. It took me a long time to realize that he was the issue and had a lot of aggression towards his exes as well as having an avoidant attachment tendency to ignore or ghost women whenever he felt like it.
Sure, a few women out there might have questionable morals and enjoy hurting their partners for shits and giggles. But if a man seem to have a knack of picking women who hurt him literally every single time, it stands to reason to start questioning him.