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“What happened to your maid?”
“Oh, I fired her. You did such a good job cleaning the other day, I figured I didn’t need her anymore.”
“You fired her? She was one of your best qualities!”
Actual conversation I had with an ex-boyfriend. Context: After dating for only 2 months, I surprised him by cleaning his house and he FIRED HIS MAID. This scrote really thought that by doing this favor I was signing on for free labor from that day forward. Now mind you, this was before I had found FDS- which strictly cautions against giving away wifely duties before marriage. But even in my pick-me haze I could see it… I could squint and make it out… THE AUDACITY.
Well, that was years ago and that scrote is long gone. I’ve been leveling up bit by bit and my financial situation has slowly gotten much better- not quite “hire a maid” better, but it will be soon. And when I find a HVM I’m going to make it clear that the maid is here to stay. I will not let him talk me out of it by saying we can tackle the house 50/50. If he wants to cut expenses he can look to his own spending and figure out what he can do without.
There is no shame in having a maid. The way I see it, a maid can actually keep us on top of our cleaning game. I remember as a child I found it bizarre that my Grandma would go into full cleaning mode the morning before hers arrived. She always did this when company was coming, but for the maid? That just didn’t add up for me. But now it does. And if you think about it, keeping the house respectably clean leaves less work for the maid, so she can actually tackle the tougher jobs we so often don’t get around to (like the baseboards, cleaning under the fridge, etc.) It does NOT mean we lounge around in filth, expecting others to clean up all our grime. It just means we have a little much-needed help.
A maid, to me, is a sign that I’ve got it made. And if and when I get married, the only thing that will change about that is my husband will be the one paying for her.
I second this.
We need to keep in mind that the normal workday (8-10 hours + commute) was not planned for a person who has to work full-time AND do the whole household afterwards. It was planned with the thought that every working person has someone (usually a wife or other female family member (mother, sister etc. for men who weren't married) often in addition to a maid/housekeeper) taking care of their household in their background. It was planned with the classic, outdated "coming home to a clean house and dinner on the table" cliché in mind. Maybe doing a little light yard work on the weekends, but that's it.
There is absolutely no shame in not being able or willing to do it all, especially if both partners work or there are children in the household. That was never the norm.
I work full-time and commute and the money I spend on someone coming in to just vacuum and mop the floors (and clean the windows every few months) is one of the best investments into my quality of life I ever made. Really. Even if you don't want or can't afford a maid who does more/all of the housework, getting a little help for the chores you struggle with is honestly life changing.
I had a housekeeper for 22 years and it was glorious. She became chosen family, and got her CNA in order to take care of Jack; she was with me and our best friend when Jack took his last breath. That’s powerful. Moved and now again have a housekeeper who is wonderful. Pro tip, ladies: spoil your housekeeper rotten! A little extra money, some home cooked food, some clothes in her size, a souvenir, it makes a big difference.
This goes back to the idea of not dating stingy men.
One of the major financial benefits of getting married is having more resources with which to improve your lifestyle. Having a maid will be one of my non-negotiables if I ever remarry. There is zero chance that I will ever clean a bathroom after my man has used it unless the world is ending and we’re living in a hut or something (and even then he can clean it himself). Don’t be his cook, housekeeper, or social secretary, ladies. Those tasks should be farmed out.
That's horrifying! I'm glad you dumped him.
Where do scrotes get the audacity???? My fucking lord, imagine thinking a woman’s effort to clean your home once means you need to fire your maid bc OF COURSE this woman has an innate need to clean up your filth. Go fuck yourself bro.
A woman's biological labor and house labor has monetary value...If I'm gonna cook and clean he better pay me a salary for each job...if being a maid and a chief is considered a job that you get paid for then why do it for free? Also what's the point of marriage if it's not gonna upgrade the quality of a woman's life and take the burden of responsibility & work off of her shoulders!? Not to mention that these domestic labors are not respected nor appreciated...men look down on those tasks, and view them as a woman's job, they expect & feel entitled to a woman performing them for free
Omg WTH! I dont even understand how someone has the guts to admit something like that?? Like the implication is undoubtably: You are my cleaning lady now :) Fuck off did nobody teach this man anything?