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I have comprised 5 questions that have helped me to root out LVM/Scrotes/Unevolved men from my sphere. I feel like it will help you ladies too.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?
Sit back and listen to the answer. Or non-answer in many cases. Any man worth his weight in a relationship will have looked into his own future, and made a plan for said future. He will have goals.
And he will have a plan to attain said goals. If you ask this question, and that guy looks at you like
a deer in headlights??? Or he has to think LONG AND HARD, about it cause he's never thought about it before? NEXT. He's an LVM/NVM.
2. How did your last relationship affect you when it ended?
This question will let you know if he is over his ex, or if he's looking to you to be a rebound, to get him
over his ex. It will also let you know, how he speaks about his ex. Is he blaming her for everything?
Does he take any responsibility? Does he use you as his personal therapist? He could be a Narc, trying
to foster a faster bond with you than normal.
3. Do you think there is such a thing as not being able to afford a date?
A real HVM will always find a way to be able to afford a date. He has goals, ambitions, and plans to properly court women. If he sees himself never affording dates then that is a red flag..
4. What or Who do you turn to for comfort when life is overwhelming?
We should all have healthy coping mechanisms when life becomes stressful.
5. How comfortable are you asking for help when you are stressed? If he can't ask for help, then he
will turn to his vices. ie: sex addiction, gambling, drugs, alcohol, cheating etc.
#1 is the only question I condone. And even still, wanting something and hdving a plan is different than having the skills to execute it.
The other questions are a no for me because:
People lie. And skilled manipulators and abusers are GOOD at lying. They get off on it.
Instead, learn to observe. You NEVER have to ask a man his intentions. You only need to observe the environments that he attempts to put you in and the experiences he tries to create with you. Most men are so lazy they will not get beyond 2 dates. 🤷🏽♀️
3. Trauma bonding vibes. My theory is that we need to build goodwill and have fun times with people before we get vulnerable. A man who would divulge this much information to me on a first date would actually really turn me off.
I usually just ask for an amount of money and when they can’t give it to me they usually go away, because I can ask him every question in the world and he can try to future fake me and even when I disapprove his “lies” he still is going to try having access to you by keep blablabla-ing, so yeah better immediately ask action from him and when he knows he can’t put that imput, his belief of having access to you diminishes.
The right men is the man of right now.
When I am trying to figure out what kind of person I am dealing with, I ask open ended questions and respond in a nonjudgmental manner. For instance, when I met a man who told me he is from another country. I said, ”Oh, I keep hearing about (country), what is going on there lately?” He complained about his country, so I said, “I wonder who will win the election, and how will he improve things?” He spelled out his political beliefs. A lot of times the answers to open ended question are terrible, but if you show your hand too early or object right away he won’t be honest about his answers.
As for number one, also listen if all his plans are all about him or if those plans include space for a partner. First husband always talked in terms of I, rarely ever and grudgingly we. Very telling.