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Hi queens,
I know we have to tread lightly when it comes to these so-called "experts" we see on YouTube. I feel like I have seen them all at some point! All I know is Matthew Hussey is a hard pass for me, and Mark Rosenfeld seems kinda smarmy to me,too.
Is anyone here familar with Stephan LaBosierre? Aka "Stephan Speaks"? He has also written a few books. His channel is pretty active.He is Christian but I have found his advice is not overly preach-y and IMHO is for all women , religious or not.
Just wondering if anyone who has been following FDS longer than I have finds his advice solid , "ok", or a "pass"....
While we are at it....anyone follow Dating with Katy? I don't know how much of an audience she has. She's in her forties and just got engaged .
I know him and his content well. He’s like most male relationship experts who say that they aim to help women - a lot of what he says about men is true but he’s problematic in that he makes excuses for men’s behaviour and victim blames from time to time.
I no longer watch him and can’t remember exact videos but he sprinkles in victim-blaming and “men can’t help themselves/you should’ve seen that coming (i.e. you should be a mind reader and fortune teller)"-rhetoric into his videos. After seeing that enough times, I unsubscribed from his channel and haven’t listened to him since. This was years ago.
These men are the best in telling women the truth about men: Tony Gaskins and RC Blakes. They don't sugarcoat anything and get real about men's thoughts, actions, motives and behaviours. Derrick Jaxn tells the truth about men too while also doing what he warns women about which is why I unsubscribed from his channel a while back too. How do you warn women about men and you're the same man you're warning them about?!
For me: Stephan Speaks = hard pass. Hold men accountable fully or not at all. Don’t tell them off in one breath then make excuses for them in the next.
I don’t know Dating with Katy so I can't tell you about her. Sorry!
PASS. I second much of what luxury lover said about Stephan Speaks. I have found that a lot of these male dating 'gurus' (ew?), do a bait and switch act where they reel you in with 'we respect woman', '👏🏼 your high standards', 'QUEEN!', only to slap you with scrote apologism, domineering misogyny to put a woman 'in her place'. And so on and so forth. As you are already doing, be verrrrrry discerning with these characters. Also if they are physically attractive it can be easier to get fooled! FDS Goggles: on.
I don't have anything definite against him but I side-eye male relationship gurus - especially single ones. I'm sure more experience FDSers have more to say.
I listened to him for a long time last year but the more I listen to him, the more I disagree with a lot of things he says.
I feel like YouTube is as bad as Reddit. I don't use it.
The only male dating advice-giver I know to be FDS-aligned is actually @prettyboykayb1 on TikTok. His Lives on TiKTok are great.
https://www.tiktok.com/@prettyboykayb1?_t=8d1bqg7T4Lz&_r=1
I personally really like Shallon Lester. She's very FDS alligned.
I don't mind some of his videos on understanding men