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There are many ways to use a person. Sex is just one of them. And in my experience when a guy is using a girl for sex, he might also ask her for advice, ask about the parts of her life he is personally interested in, trauma dump on her... but stay aware: he is still objectifying you if he's doing all this! Only now you're not only a sex object, you're an object of emotion validation and mild curiosity. Oh, joy!
So many young girls let themselves think, "oh, he told me about his childhood trauma and made me listen to his podcast after jizzing in me, he's starting to catch ✨feelings✨?"
No. Girl. No. He sees you as a receptacle for his spunk and all his frustrations and feelings of inadequacy. See how you're still getting used??
A lot of women have this idea that a man sharing his problems with them means that he loves and trusts her or that he thinks she's special. It doesn't. Most of the time it means:
He's using her for emotional labour. After all venting to his girlfriend is cheaper than going to an actual therapist.
Many men are aware that women associate sharing problems with intimacy and they use this to their advantage.
Some men will actually make up sob stories in order to gain a woman's sympathy for nefarious reasons. Many abusers do this. They make up some "trauma" then they use it as an excuse to abuse the woman. The woman is much more likely to take the abuse if she thinks that there's some Freudian excuse behind it. She may also feel guilt at the idea of leaving a man who is so obviously troubled.
Thanks for the reminder.
Men can use women for anything and everything. Never forget that.
We should not provide any of our resources to men unless they compensate us in the way we want BEFORE we provide our resources.
If a man mentions how he was abused in childhood within the first few weeks of dating, run the other way. That's not your business. He should have gone to therapy to deal with that. A normal person will not spill something so intimate to a complete stranger. Hold off on the sharing of baggage, and hold off on sex. Play it smart. That's how you avoid being manipulated.
I saw this male lion lure a baby water buffalo away from its herd by pretending it was afraid of the calf. The calf would charge the lion, the lion would pretend to be afraid and run a little bit away. So the calf was emboldened and kept following the lion, until it was out of range for theherd to protect him. Then the lion pounced on the little calf and ate him. When men tell you their troubles, they're being like the lion...pretending they're hurt, afraid, and that you're in control, and all the while it's just a predator's game. He's trying to get you to feel sorry for him and be more attached to him so that he can separate you from the herd and pounce on you.
As someone who took up psychology in college I had to learn when they try to act like I'm their therapist it's going to not be a fun situation and it becomes like a weird pick me habit similar to how they expect a pick me chef
Yep. Men are colonizers. They just want to drain our resources; whatever they can take they will.
i came to the exact same conclusion after a scrote used me as a pseudogirlfriend without even prtending to be some kind of pseudoboyfriend to me. like wtf? never let that happen again after that POS. you are absolutely right.