.png)
This video is from 2 years ago, but it was in my YouTube feed. I admit as an introvert, I'm guilty of what he's saying in the video. Sometimes us introverts do need to step out of our comfort zone once in a while. I know I need to, because dating apps just aren't working for me.
Any introverts here who agree with this?
Honestly?
I really don't like that all the "advice" makes it sound like being an introvert is abnormal and a problem that needs to be fixed to accomodate other people, obviously with the introverted person being the one who needs to do all the work and needs to endure all the discomfort. It isn't.
There is always "force yourself to get out of your comfort zone!", "Here are tips to appear more approachable/extroverted", "here are tips on how to bear the discomfort we recommend forcing yourself into even if it makes you miserable!".
Do you know what I've never heard? "Here are tips on how you, an extrovert, can make social situations more comfortable for introverted people", "You should force yourself to spend more time alone as an extrovert even if you hate it!", "Here are tips on how to accept that your partner is an introvert and make them comfortable".
I'm an introvert. Social situations are draining for me, even if I am surrounded by people I love. That's never going to change. A HV man who wants me needs to accept that and me forcing myself to appear differently and endure social situations that make me uncomfortable to meet or date him is going to accomplish the exact opposite. Changing myself and putting myself in uncomfortable situations to appeal to men is pickme behaviour, in my opinion.
I'm not a recluse. I meet people and go to events and do things I enjoy. But I do it on my terms and I go home when it gets too much.
EDIT: In fact, accepting that I am introverted and being willing to accomodate it is a major compatibility factor for me and I need to know if that's going to work early on. I have had so many bad experiences with partners, family and friends pretending to be understanding and then not following through, that I am not taking any chances. If I say I can stay at that event for 2 hours, maximum, I expect there to be no whining and discussions that you want to stay longer when I want to leave after 2 hours. Especially, if you are my ride and I am relying on you to get home.
i don't think preparation is going to help introverts NOT feel drained by being around people, especially by strangers for long periods of time...but yes, it might make it more tolerable.
as far as being in environments that make you feel comfortable: sure, of course. spend time doing things you love.
and yes, an entire planet of extroverts/external processors would be a nightmare. diversity is life, it takes all kinds of people to create a society.
in an ideal world, HVM would be interested in getting to know interesting people, not just looking to have sex or gain status. in which case you, the introvert, would be looking at some amazing book in a library or an exotic plant in a botanical garden, and he would approach you with curiosity, not an agenda, and let things unfold.
I always recommend the FDS podcast episode on flirting strategies. Some of the FDS ladies are introverts (Savannah?) and there are tips for all personality types.