.png)
Girls, help!
I have a problem and I'm hoping it's not unique. Or at least common enough, that some of you will be able to help me with it. I am very physically attracted to the guy. I'm seeing right now. Emphasis on very, to the point where it embarrasses me a little bit, how much my brain seems to turn to mulch. The slack-jawed stare with compliments on verbal diarrhea mode is not an elegant look on anyone, and most definitely not on me. What the heck do I do to keep it in my pants, at least in my head?
The intentionally lighthearted phrasing of this question aside, this is a genuine problem and my self esteem is taking a hit from all the spontaneous effusiveness I'm spouting. I'd really appreciate some help and some advice about internal verbal boundaries.
Dating others dilutes it. Also for me, I know they are one stupid comment or red flag from me walking and that truth is sobering. I just hope you are not ignoring some hefty flaws already because of hormones. If you are, you will 100% regret it.
Do not see him too frequently eg once a week, once every 2 weeks maybe. Others may suggest less.
TIME LIMIT when you do see him. eg 1 hr, 2hr. not 6hr long dates/over night nights etc
Do not sleep with him for at least 6 months (hopefully you haven't already). Still no gurantee at six months + but at least you have a chance to observe without getting too entangled.
Do not kiss him for a long time either. (hopefully you haven;t already). We bond when we kiss. you need to not bond quickly, so that you can see more clearly while continually vetting
Continually vet
I would go so far as even to say limit your touching even.
Read the handbook, if you haven't already
Keep re-reading the handbook. Essential in your toolkit especially if you are going 'mush' for a guy and your hormones are already going off.
Chemistry is fun, but clarity is better.
- Have a funnel of men in your dating circle meaning DATE OTHER MEN. You are not exclusive unless he makes it official and be careful of love bombing and infatuation early on.
- Relief yourself before you go (so you are not clouded by his attractiveness and your hormones had a release earlier before you met him)
- Think about how HE MAkes you feel and not how you feel about him
- Limit your conversations and dates to shorter ones
- Keep yourself busy and make plans regardless of how much you like him
- Read “All the rules” and the FDS handbook everyday
- Remind yourself that you are the prize
- Stay busy, put your phone down, disconnect and find another outlet to release your energy
Ask yourself would you still like him this much if he wasnt hot?
or maybe think of something that gives you the ick and ask him if he does it.
If he shows you a flaw, magnify it in your brain and keep reminding yourself of it.
Prior to seeing him find ways to lower your libdo if you know what im saying.
Try to listen more than you talk. Ask questions.
One of your leg should always stay out of a relationship.
vigorous exercise. set some lofty goals and break them down into bite-sized pieces and the TAKE ACTION. find a women's journalling circle and participate. pick up a new hobby and make plans with friends. masturbate if you need to. it will clear some of the fog.