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So I've always followed FDS primarily as a dating community and was hoping to compare notes with you girls about our dating experiences lately. I took a couple of years off to focus on grad school, and have now been going on dates and have had such a positive experience now that I have done the work and applied the handbook.
I know some time has passed since we were all on reddit- I was wondering how you girls feel about dating these days? It's been a super positive experience for me personally because of all the vetting and then filtering out of toxic men with red flags. It's been a few weeks, but the quality of men's behavior is so drastically different to when I was dating pre-healing/fds. Even years ago when I tried applying the handbook I got burned a lot because I would make exceptions etc. None of that now!
How about you? Any progress lately?
A friend asked me this recently.
I told her, "I'm just going to focus on living my best damn life. If I meet a guy, great. If I don't, still great too!"
So, no, not actively dating. Why retrigger myself? 😆
Glad to hear you have a positive experience, tho!
Keep vetting and stay sharp out there😊
Positive experience? Interesting 🤔
Yeah I dated a bit this summer @
Same as you, the experience was way more positive than when I was on FDS reddit because this time around I had lower expectations on the outcome and higher standards with wayyy stronger boundaries. I blocked a very very hot guy with a very good first date because he went silent on me (probably because I didn't put out). When I decided on my own to block this guy I had such a great feeling about, I understood that I really integrated FDS very well and that my boundaries are truly here to protect my little heart. I naturally came to the conclusion that I wanted to block him and that was a complete win for me ! I simply listened to myself and did what was best for me without asking for anyone else's advice. I'm feeling great about myself at the moment, I had nice dates with the two men I dated this summer and I'm fine with that experience :).
Yeah, I’d say so. I’m on one app and have had one date so far (only been on a couple of weeks) and he was nice. I’m seeing him again. I’m also just being a bit more aware and have been flirting with a guy I know. I’m not taking any of it too seriously. But compared to last month I guess this counts as active.
FDS goes through phases where there’s more or less all men are awful/if you’re using OLD you’re a pickme but I take it with a pinch of salt. If sexuality was a choice I’d be a lesbian without a doubt but the truth is I’m a heterosexual woman who likes sex and would like to find companionship. I’ll not settle but at heart I’m an optimist living in a rural community so I’m applying the best strategy I can. (The guy I had a date with also lives in a rural community many metaphorical fields over. My tomato plants wouldn’t bump into his workshop.)
I'm dating passively 🤣. That is, I downloaded Bumble a couple of weeks ago and only check the app when I have time (maybe once a day max?). Have already been on a date with one guy, and am supposed to see him again this weekend. In the meanwhile, I let other men plan dates with me (as in, I only respond, don't activelly arrange anything and block and delete when they're too passive). I feel like given the design of the app (i.e. the woman is reaching first), most men on Bumble are super lazy and not proactive. They want you to take the lead, which is 🤢. The only guy I've been on a date so far was because he actively asked me out after a couple of messages and didn't just keep talking and wasting my time.
I actually enjoy dating. I'm happy to have found fds. It taught me so much.
I go through periods of dating. When I dating I would always keep a scrotation. Even before fds I dated this way.
I'm in a relationship now, it's good so far. I obviously still vet everyday.
If things didn't work out, I'd probably take time off from dating. Because I'm fine being alone. But eventually I'd probably go back to it.
I'm currently dating per se, in a relationship more spesifically. From what I see I got super lucky and managed to land myself a HVM. In retrospective I was trying to date in a very dumb way (dating apps etc) and it's a miracle I'm not in an abusive relationship right now, since dating apps are really the worst.
I actually found FDS back in late 2021 right around when my ex and I were separating and then I had to go through the divorce process, sell my house and move back in with my parents, so i haven’t exactly in the best space physically or mentally to date or get into a relationship. I think the best thing about FDS is centering yourself in your life. I wasted my time from ages 17-25 with men and thought that my life wouldn’t be fulfilled if I wasn’t with someone. I’ve been able to spend the last year and a half-ish on myself and it has been amazing. I don’t think I’ll date again until I at least have my own place, and even then I think I won’t actually seek it out.
No for me. I have no reason to date now.
How exactly do you meet people? Are you meeting them on apps?
I don’t know where to meet guys, I barely use social media and I deleted Bumble to find people naturally… i am very single now lol