Workplace harassment: have you ever experienced that?

I have literally been sexually harassed at EVERY job I have ever had (since age 12 when I had a paper route) until my current one - because my boss is a woman and I work from home. Men really have little idea how often women get hit on at work - if they did, they wouldn't be so damn eager to send us off to work to play halvsies. Instead, the idiots grind us down to a numb between our 9-5s and domestic chores until we file for divorce, then they have shocked pikachu face that we decided to be solo.

I experienced this with my last job as well (50s JBP loving manchild with borderline). My best advice is to document and write down exactly what happened and when, which will be important for a future conversation with HR (or legal). My second piece of advice is to look critically at leadership in the company. Clearly this guy was successful enough. Are the leaders more similar to him, or you? If the former, start looking for a job.

You won't be damaged if you stand up for yourself. One time a sexist comment was made to me by my co-worker (23) after hours and we sat with all the employees I was the only girl (21) but I didn't know what that word meant and I asked him what does it mean and he wouldn't say and everyone in the lobby heard what he said but because probably because I said that I didn't know what it meant nobody said anything and then I got up and went home and on the way I looked up what that word meant and so it came down to that I would love cum and then I called the director (36) on my way home and I had left a voicemail crying with: 'Something very bad happened… etc' I told him what he said and then he called the floor manager (28) and he called me that he would solve it or something and he said that he was also shocked that he said that and after that the boy had never made a mean remark again. This was before I knew about FDS. I didn’t knew that coworker that well and it was my first week working there so I felt really offended and I'm not used to that someone say something dirty to me immediately. Anyhow we still worked together and I felt relieved when crying and all was alright. In your case you have to tell your boss and you should not bottle things that bother you. Even though he may not receive it well, you set the tone and set the limit on what you will or will not tolerate and every guy will always go on how far you tolerate BS so always be brave and demand that your co-worker has to stop.

resign and send an email to HR copying the exact thing you wrote to us

I’ve left two jobs because of sexual harassment, both times coming from the men in power positions. It infuriates me that women have to deal with this shit, and I’m sorry to hear it’s happened to you. Unfortunately my best advice is to leave and find another company. If these men have behaved this way for 30 years, they will not improve. Please understand that they get sick enjoyment from delivering discomfort to women who would never deign to speak to them outside of a paid environment; it’s also important to come to accept that they will never offer to help grow your career because they do not perceive your value based on the quality of your work, so it’s of no benefit to you in the long run. If leaving isn’t an option for whatever reason, try to mention a boyfriend, sometimes scrotes will materialize some respect if they believe another man “got there first”. Fair warning this could backfire and make the worst of men pursue even harder. If there’s a woman you trust in the organization then you can try broaching the subject, but if they’ve been there a long time they are likely complicit in the behaviour. I can say it’s mostly not worth bringing this to HR, they are only there to protect the company from lawsuits if they have a formal department at all. The best retaliation is writing truthful reviews on Glassdoor and the business’ Google account (wait a while after leaving and use a new email account if you care about staying anonymous). For tactics going forward, I’ve accumulated a few tips. I prefer to keep my personal life outside of work conversations, it gives men less of a feeling of familiarity. If inappropriate physical contact happens again, at the first instance try to say as calmly as possible ‘I am not comfortable with you touching me, please keep your distance’ or something to that effect. Do not let men intimidate you into sweeping these gross moments under the rug, they know what they’re doing and you should call them out on it. When seeking out new companies and interviewing, try to get a sense what the C suite structure looks like (women, POC, etc) and perhaps reach out to discuss with former female employees on Linkedin - some will speak frankly if they left because of similar issues. And finally, my favourite advice is to establish a ‘fuck off fund’. It may take some time if you have to clear student loans but it is oh so important to be financially secure enough to leave when necessary. Access to your own money means you can tolerate less nonsense and I feel psychologically it instills a sense of autonomy and control over your working life (I feel the same about romantic relationships too, obviously). Hope that’s helpful, good luck and I look forward to hearing other women’s input and advice too!

This is pure sexual harassment. Did you ask him to stop? Or just stayed quiet? He is a pig and you should report him. Also. Do not have any further conversations with him and document him. Some men think if you are quiet, you accept it so they keep doing it. I’m furious for you. He is so sick 🤮