“Women fall in love with their ears” and other myths drawn from a lack of critical thinking.

I heard this old trope recently that men fall in love with their eyes and women with their ears. Reminds me of how we constantly hear about how men are just SO DIFFERENT with their sex drive and sexuality. ”Men aren’t monogamous“ but women are they say. Okay, you know what’s going on? Men just are more selfish, abusive, and lie more as a group, and it’s difficult to say if this is instrinsic or because they are more physically powerful and at the end of the day can frighten and intimidate women out of standing up to them. People love to say how women tolerate and put up with too much but forget how a man who has a wild look of rage in his eye is terrifying, and one experience like this, or physical punishments growing up and you become stunned and frozen when it arises again. Some points:

1. “Women fall in love with their ears.” This is based on men thinking women fall in love based on what they are told by men, however women are just less likely to shamelessly lie and say things manipulatively, so men aren’t exposed to the same aggressive manipulation that women are. So they walk away believing they are just smarter, when really, they aren’t dealing with the same circumstances. Not even close.

2. Men have a higher sex drive and are polyamorous. - I’d like to see their drive for sex if sex was women pressuring them to put large things up their rear ends, told them what to say during sex and asked them akward, leading questions that can only be responded to in a submissive Way (do you like that? Did you miss it?). In other words, if sex was people telling them what to do, say and doing things to them that feel bad, painful and degrading. If it was a chore, and a ritual instead of anything resembling pleasure. They wouldn’t want THAT. They like the sex that they currently have which bends to their desires and makes them feel powerful and big and in control. As for poly, ya this goes one way. as long as they can be poly and at the same time disagree with it make a woman feel like a freak for being the same way, then why not hold a one sided view that serves them. Plus, it stems from them enjoying sex much more which they attribute to maleness but in actual fact, sex is just better for them because women are better lovers and men are by and large atrocious, clueless and repulsive when it comes to sex. 3. Porn. Again, men don’t like their women being into porn any more than women don’t like men being into porn. Men and women FEEL the same way about this in general BUT porn doesn’t hold the same extreme negative impacts on men because it’s full of women being treated badly, and men doing whatever titillates them. Back to the last point, if porn showed men being hurt, humiliated, disposable, bending to the will of women, and caused women to become aggressive selfish monsters - ruining sex entirely for men so there remained nothing enjoyable about it, then men would have an issue with it. Porn portrays and encourages something that puts men in a superior position, and women in an inferior position, so the negative repercussions are felt by women. The harassment and abuse is felt by women who also have the treat of being physically more vulnerable and unable to feel safe when men prey on them. Even if disgusting women were always trying to get sex from them in the course of them trying to live their live, they wouldn’t have to humour them for fear of a lashing out because women aren’t intimidating to men. Also few men would date a woman who watched a bunch of porn and was obsessed with watching and looking at other mens penises. Men just generally have partners who don’t really watch porn, and can certainly easily find one who doesn’t. it’s not a hard standard to hold because porn is demeaning to women so it’s not as popular (again men attribute this to sex drive when it’s a matter of content). So men never feel inferior or like they have to compete or perform to an impossible standard. They almost always enjoy pure dedication from women while they do all the stuff that sucks. If women were all porn sick men would have an issue. Some women are and men don’t like it. The answer isn’t porn for women the answer is not selling humans bodies for sex. Unfortunately general human nature is to only care about what directly affects you and unfortunately most things that affect women don’t affect men in the same way.
   

Edit - since this is such a ‘depress-o’ post, I’ll end by saying that someone who would be strong marriage material is not gonna be the average immature selfish jerk anyway. It takes someone who has critical thinking, a desire to be a good responsible human, and usually someone who was raised with a sense of treating women fairly (however someone with the first two qualities could figure it out themselves with time). That exists, and anyone who’s incapable of introspection could never be a good partner no matter what ideas were out there anyway. So don’t get too down, hope the post just helps other women not get gaslit into accepting double standards by men mistaking outcome for causation.