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NOW is always the good time to walk away or initiate divorce/separation. Yes it will be hard, but it will be just as hard 5, 10 years later. So might as well save yourself and took the plunge NOW.
Don't wait until it becomes a his vs her situation that everybody get involved in -- don't rely on the law or court to side with you. Because there's always a chance they want you through the ringer first before they let you get some sort of justice.
Assume that a lot of people will blame you first, and be ready to cut them all off. Being alone is better than being with people who will sacrifice you on the patriarchal altar when they need to.
DO NOT let the "small things" slide. Every abuse start with the "small" things. He is slowly chipping away at your self-worth -- RUN.
Get used to the realization that everybody in your life wants you to stay oppressed -- and minimize every hurt he inflicted on you. Stop talking about it, pack your bags and take actions first. You can break down later.
Be strategic. Be calculative. Stay on facts publicly and keep your emotions in a secret journal. Keep your lips sealed and move silently -- you are at war, majority of public are against you, you need to be smart.
We hope we can get justice for all the hurt and pain -- but we don't live in the ideal world. Maybe in the next life -- but in this life, we gotta play smart. If taking some damage means you can be free forever, far away from his toxic, nasty ass -- take it. Let the ones who loveeeee him so much deal with him, you only need to focus on that freedom.
Stay safe.
Yes, I completely agree. I recently left a relationship that definitely would have gotten abusive if I had stayed. It got to a point where he started pressuring me to have sex when I didn’t want to. I reported him for rape and moved on with my life. I don’t even care if he is convicted, as long as he is in the police records and I don’t have to look at myself in the mirror and feel like I’m protecting him from facing a judge. I’m even considering reporting someone from further back in my past after this is all over with, but that one was a lot more traumatic so I’m more anxious about it.
I loved this message. You're so right when you said that abuse starts with the small things and since I myself am in a situation like this right now, I'm acting like a dumb fox. Sometimes I feel unsure about my decision to leave but reading the posts here only make my uncertainty and my fears go away and my desire to leave grow. I don't deserve this shit and hopefully one day I'll be free.