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>"In an honors thesis for Gender, Sexuality, and Women’s Studies, 2023 grad Talia Fiester examines ‘Neoliberal Love and the Pathology of Gen Z’s Singledom.’"
>" “Men do not have the pressure to make themselves into a package,” Fiester says. But for women, there is a narrative about rejecting the couple form in the name of self-optimization, she says. “It’s about working on yourself.” "
>"Gen Z daters want to find someone who matches them in socioeconomic status, education level, and career goals—someone like them but better. As Fiester explains, “If she’s pretty, that helps him. If she’s wealthy, that helps him. If she’s educated, that helps him. It’s all about to trying to marry up, or partner up, looking for your equal but maybe someone who can elevate you just a little bit.”"
What is wrong with wanting to be with someone who elevates your life, not drags you down?
No where does this author mention or put the expectation out there for men to be better!
I feel that this type of Gender Studies Graduate is NOT doing herself or her sisters or society any favors.
Young gen Z women are literally putting in the hard work to be good partners, yet get dismissed by boys who do nothing but roll their eyes when someone mentions 'work on' themselves. Boys and men belittle personal growth as a waste of time yet feel entitled to sex, relationships, kids, and marriage anyway.
Men and boys could stand to do a little TikTok Glow Up.
"Ultimately, intimacy is hard, he says; heartbreak comes to us all." This is a quote from a doctoral candidate, apparently. University of Pennsylvania attracts the best and brightest, clearly. 💩
I can't work out if the author of this piece is all over the shop, or the honours thesis itself is a dog's breakfast. It sounds like the thesis makes some interesting points about how neoliberalism has shaped the commodification of dating so much so that individuals are 'self-optimizing' and competing in the dating 'market' while, just like in the actual economic market, discovering that shopping in a sea of choices isn't bringing happiness. I think this is a great quote from the article:
"They’re left in “situationships,” a black hole where there are no boyfriend/girlfriend labels and no future, mimicking a neoliberal employment culture of gig workers and at-will firing, where retirement benefits and long-term security are no longer the norm."
But like OP says, it lacks a feminist analysis of HOW MUCH WORSE this is for women than it is for men. The author talks about this idea of 'heteropessimism' as though it's women performing for each other (!) instead of acknowledging that, actually, women looking for love are just repeatedly disappointed and are then finding solace online by sharing their dud experiences with other women. I mean, wtf is this nonsense? →"But in frustrating moments it can be tempting for straight women to think that everything would be easier if only they were attracted to someone willing to respond to texts within the hour, someone willing to put in emotional labor, someone who wasn’t allergic to commitment—someone more like themselves." Why the word 'tempting' here? Are we meant to feel ashamed for thinking things would be easier if we found a partner who was as levelled up as we are? This article has some though-provoking nuggets, but overall is pretty confused.
Yeah... it's not girls and women that need to make themselves better in this scenario...
2000 words to say absolutely nothing. That's impressive.