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Good morning, ladies and lurkers!
We here at FDS typically identify as Radical Feminists because we want to find the root problems in society (and root them out!) In which case it pays to understand what the Patriarchy actually is.
TLDR: skip to the penultimate paragraph.
This is the basic premise written in The Gender Knot, posted for your reading pleasure!
Patriarchy is complicated and far reaching, but it's fundamentals are that culture is male centred, male default, and hierarchical; and it is far more about how men are to each other than how they are to women.
"Patriarchy is built on fear, one of the most primal emotions we can experience. The most powerfully oppressive systems promote fear; (taking a sideswipe at religion here). It encourages men to fear what other men might do, how control might be twisted to harm them or deprive them of what matters most. It encourages men to feel afraid that other men will ridicule, or deprive them or recognition as real men. These days, that is often economic power to take away a job, hold them back or make work miserable. If you provoke the wrong man they might be beaten up or killed. Other men can, and do, wage war, destroy communities, beat, torture, rape and kill. We are afraid of what men can do to exert control (thereby protecting and enhancing their standing Real Men).
The more invested a man is in the control-fear spiral, the worse he feels when he isn't doing well on it.
Women have many reasons to fear men, but this isn't what shapes and defines patriarchy as a way of life. Men's fear of other men is crucial because patriarchy is driven by how men both cause and respond to it. They learn to keep feelings to themselves rather than be vulnerable at the wrong moment to someone looking for an advantage. They learn to win an argument, always have an answer, and never admit they're wrong.
Men pay an enormous price for participating in patriarchy. The more in control they try to be, the less secure they feel. As Marilyn French put it, "A religion of power is a religion of fear, and... those who worship power are the most terrified creatures on Earth."
Patriarchy is usually portrayed as something that is primarily between men and women. Yet it is men who control men's standing as men. With few exceptions, men look to other men to affirm their manhood.This contradicts the conventional wisdom that women hold the key to heterosexual men's sense of manhood. It's true that men often use women to show they measure up - especially by controlling women sexually, but those standards that are used are men's."
What this means for women? Tell me in the comments!
I think it means that feminism might not be the opposite of Patriarchy. Fighting for women's rights will be a constant battle for as long as men remain in the control-fear spiral. It means that men have to do the work on themselves and how they want to live. And because this is FDS - vet for men who are capable of introspection. Hold men accountable.
Im a first wave radical feminist aka terf. I think FDS should be like that too. Heaps of radical feminists tolerate and even accept the trans beasts while first wave feminists fought for the rights of biological female, a dude in a dress was not allowed to be called a woman.
Men cannot be part of this system and be good partners.
They also cannot like most men and be good partners, as most men hate women.