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Sorry in advance if this is the wrong category and if it belongs in Rants instead.
I'm going through a situation that has once again highlighted the ways in which misogyny affects women's healthcare.
TLDR: The invasiveness of gynecology is unacceptable at this point in time. It forces women to choose between reliving their trauma or risking their health and lives, and I'm positive many women have died as a direct result of being victimized and thus unable to proceed to get the help that they need.
Society, medical professionals, and researchers' laissez-faire attitudes towards the horrors of gynecological practices feed into the cycle of building barbaric practices whilst not being transparent and trampling women's boundaries for more and more disenfranchised women to suffer and die.
How are women with trauma supposed to navigate the health of their reproductive structures when so much in the entire field of gynecology is based in disregard for women's bodily autonomy, sitgmatization of the female anatomy, historical sadism, and overall disrepect for women's humanity?
Last year I finally went to get a pap and check up at the gynecologist's office after almost a decade of putting it off. If I was honest with myself, I knew that this was precisely because of somethings that happened, but I was in denial and would tell myself that it was my usual procrastination. I have been celibate for the same amount of time and never even used tampons - there was nothing going up inside of me and this is not a coincidence.
The appointment was horrible - I had an unexpected breakdown, and the worst part is that in my logical mind, while it was happening, I knew that the the doctor was actually being very professional, gentle, and understanding. By all means it should have been a spectacularly successful visit, so WTF was I doing???
At the end she gave me some time to gather myself and she mentioned there may be some trauma going on there, which I knew deep down, but I have always been the type to think that only some very, very specific things can constitute as trauma and for anything else? Suck it up or else!!
She gave me the recommendation to get further testing since I had benign uterine fibriods which were found when I was still a teenager. She told me that it was just going to be an "ultrasound" which I've had done before where they discovered the fibroids.
I'd been putting off going to the ultrasound after that but I got the clean test results and wanted to make sure I was 100% fine before going back to never having anything up there again. However this week I did a cursory look over the piece of paper for a date and location and my stomach dropped through the floor. "Pelvic, Transvaginal" were checked. It's unbelievable and I feel so, so ridiculously pathetic but I broke down again with full-on tears, hyperventilating, the works AGAIN. To just a piece of paper!
It doesn't make sense, she saw how I was at the appointment and she was the one who mentioned trauma to me so how could she not tell me that the ultrasound was going to in fact, be another invasive procedure?
I'm at least glad I saw it beforehand and that I had an idea of what it entails. How many women have gone for an "ultrasound" to be surprised at the appointment with this horrific bullshit? How many women would have had the self-assurance in such a situation to pause, clarify, leave, or request alternative possibilities? How many women left feeling like they let themselves be degraded once again?
By the looks of a quick search for "transvaginal ultrasound", A WHOLE FUCKING LOT!
Now I'm not anti-pharmaceuticals or anti-medical or anything like that. While being generally aware of medical misogyny as a feminist I'm also fairly scientifically literate (maybe). I understand that transvaginal scopes can identify far more clearly any irregularities in women's reproductive health than abdominal ones, helps with accurate diagnoses and thus treatment, and that many times it is necessary; the design is for our benefit.
However WHY is this method even the first recommendation? Where are the less invasive alternatives? This sentiment goes double for birth control as well!
We all know why... the lack of respect for women's humanity is what all of it is.
A car was sent to space for shits and giggles for god's sake. No interest, no investment, no financial incentives to improve and innovate women's healthcare, not even the bare minimum to standardize all drug testing for over 50% of the population.
And yet, we're still here.
I think my approach here will be to call the health centre and ask if we can do an external abdominal ultrasound first, then if determined necessary, we can proceed with the transvaginal one, I've gotta grit my teeth here if it has to be done it will be.
My thought process is that if they were able to see the fibroids over ten years ago they should still be visible at least now, and considering my overall regular cycle and health maybe the health professionals *might* see no irregularities and hopefully determine that a transvaginal ultrsound not necesssary. Better to be sure that it's needed than to go through it when I could have just not done it right?
If FDS has taught me ANYTHING at least it's to SPEAK UP and advocate for myself.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
If you've had a transvaginal ultrasound done, what was your situation and experience?
Any thoughts on women's healthcare also very welcome and appreciated.
The LEEPs and biopsies upset me.
If they notice something weird during your pap they excuse themselves for ten minutes and come back with the surgical tools to take the biopsy. No pain pills or laughing gas and they take out chunks. I think we are just learning the chunks taken out of the cervix can mess up a womans ability to orgasm.
As if a man would ever have to go through something so painful if they need to biopsy his genitals.
Medical misogyny, idk how to fix it but I hope we can in our lifetimes.
I had a traumatic experience as well. I specifically requested a female doctor, due to recent trauma. She had me wide open, everything exposed, when there was a knock on the door. She said "Come in"! A dude poked his head in and looked a little confused. His face was right to my vagina! When he left, I said, "Wow!" "What?" She said, defensively. "I'm a doctor! I have to communicate with other doctors!"
I still get so upset when I think about it. She could have waited 5 minutes and not put me through that.
You are so right and I am so sorry this is happening to you.
People are so callous about invasive exams like this being pushed on us from the time we are literally teenagers and everyone who dares to express their discomfort is quickly shut down.
The very fact that teenage girls, who never even had sex, are expected to lie down naked and have an -often male- doctor perform a pelvic exam on them in the name of "preventative care" is frankly abusive. And if you ever dare to mention your discomfort about this, even to a medical professional, it's the usual, patronizing "Oh, they are just trying to help, you should be glad" and "They aren't doing this for fun either, just suck it up and and be an adult" to shut you up.
I had my first pelvic exam when I went to the OB/GYN for the first time get my HPV vaccine (the GP here don't do them). I was a teenager, who had never even been sexually active, and thought I would just get a shot and that's it. The pelvic exam was not presented as an option, it was "we are doing this now, please get naked from the waist down". It was humiliating and scary. My mother, who had been in the waiting room wondering what was taking so long, was furious and we changed doctors after that. She had also thought that nothing but the vaccine would happen.
I am truly so sorry that you had to go through this. I have personally had two transvaginal ultrasounds for my endometriosis/ovarian cysts years ago. I find it much better than a normal Pap smear exam as there is nothing to scratch or to remove to test. It didn’t bother me because they were female (I always request female) regardless even for my gynecologist. They did do an external ultrasound first but both times they had to do the transvaginal next in order to see much better images. However, these exams don’t cause me trauma but since they do for you, maybe skip the ultrasounds all together and ask for an MRI?? It will provide detailed imaging anyways that are much better than ultrasounds. Not sure if you have insurance or universal healthcare or not.
Most importantly, please see a therapist. This is something that you really need help with to heal. I can’t imagine the pain this is causing you and I hope you get to feel better soon. Take care of your mental health and physical health always ♥️
the main issue with gynaecology for me is how a lot of solutions to our various womb issues are reproduction-focused.
anyway, i've had a few transvaginal ultrasounds done in the past couple of years (endometriosis) and while they all hurt like a bitch, i can't say i hate them or anything. to me, it's a necessary evil. i too have fibroids that were discovered during the first ultrasound and i'm pretty glad they were found out because, in spite of my regular cycle, i was also bleeding rather heavily.
A little long so bare with me. About 5 years ago, I started to bleed very heavily, like a tampon would get pushed right out by a clot, and blood would spill on the bathroom floor. It was bad. The first time gyno saw me, I had a chaperone with me, as I am very upfront about my vaginal trauma, and how a Pap smear could send me spiraling. She scheduled me to come back for a transvaginal. She walks in the room with another woman, and I think maybe she’s my chaperone, even though I did approve of one yet for that visit. Well, she wasn’t a chaperone. She was an intern, and my transvaginal would be her first. I was in shock, and asked her if she read my chart before entering my room. She says yes, but it was an obvious lie because if she did read it, she would have offered a chaperone. I froze from the shock and fear and betrayal by a woman. The intern placed the wand in me and it felt like someone was shoving knives in there. I kicked her in the face and busted her lip, as a involuntary reaction to the pain (not in purpose). At that point, i tell them both to leave, I get dressed and walk out. She later tells me everything is ok, and that my bleeding was probably just perimenopause.
FF another year, and I’m telling an older woman about my bleeding and she says, babe, that is not normal, find another doctor. So, I did.
I explain everything to her. “Oh, honey, no that is not normal and given your history, you should have been sedated, and you especially should not have been seen by an intern doing her first transvaginal. She tells me that she’s almost positive that there’s a polyp and that they’d have to do a hysteroscopy, and if there was a polyp, a polypectomy. She also planned to insert Mirena to double protect me from any residual heavy bleeding that wasn’t corrected by the polypectomy. She advocated for me to have my insurance company approve me for general anesthesia.
I had surgery, and there were LARGE polyps (that first gyno completely missed. They were removed, IUD inserted (it wasn’t for me so I took it out a year later), and I haven’t had abnormal bleeding since.
My heart breaks for all the women who don’t know that if something feels off, it’s off and that they have every right to ask for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th opinions.
I am not a doctor but I did recently have a hysterectomy due to fibroids that were causing significant issues. I had an ultrasound and they were large enough to see and measure through an abdominal scan.
Fibroids are common and if yours are not causing you issues I don't understand why they want to do an ultrasound in the first place. Doctors love to diagnose fibroids and then tell you there's nothing you can do about it until and unless they become problematic. If they ARE causing you issues and/or you plan on having children then it's something you should definitely get a handle on but I would ask them why they feel an ultrasound is necessary at all. If it's just exploratory you have the right to refuse it altogether or skip the transvaginal (which is really only going to help them see what the abdominal might miss) and revisit the issue in the future if and when they cause issues.
I know people have lovingly suggested therapy to you: specifically I want to suggest EMDR therapy. It is trauma-informed and can deal with acute and chronic physical / sexual trauma in the way you’ve described. It has been very helpful. Good luck to you!
I need to research if a CT scan of the pelvis would offer the same diagnostic benefits as a transvaginal ultrasound🤔 Ultrasound is chosen 1st bc no ionizing radiation is given off unlike w xray or ct scans...and if you're a woman of reproductive age radiation to that area would want to be avoided unless absolutely necessary. But, a CT scan would be far less invasive than the probe ( I've had a transvag ultrasound 2x)
Went thru same thing as you with birth control. The nuva ring and IUD was heavily pushed on me. Back when I went to a gynecologist office, I actually had to go to planned Parenthood one of the times afterwards to get the birth control pill because the gyno would not prescribe me the pill and was forcing the nuva.
If you want to get a pap test done you can get a test kit thru nurx and swab yourself and send it in to get the results. I've opted out of going to the gynecologist completely at this point. Physically and financially violated every time I go.
And you know what, this might be contrary to popular opinion, but I don't give a fuck if I have hpv. They use all these scare tactics to get women to pay for invasive pap tests and colposcopies that you don't even need to do till after your 30. Also, only 10% of people with hpv will develop cervical cancer and more than 80% of women will have hpv at some point in their life. So, getting paps all the time is just unnecessary and is giving young women serious mental breakdowns bc they think if they have HPV they are going to die. For you, I would forego the fibroid testing completely if you haven't had any issues with your period / female parts. It's just really not necessary imo. I'm not a medical doctor, just my two cents.