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At work recently (I'm a bartender), two women who looked barely 18 walked by our front window and several men at the bar, along with a male coworker, all turned and gawked their heads and made some gross comments. Most of these men have girlfriends or wives. Luckily I am doing a career change this summer.
This really bothered me, not only the fact the girls were so young but just something inherently felt disrespectful about the act itself. Most men would not agree this act is disrespectful but intuitively women know it is. So I did some research confirming that when men sexualize and objectify us, it's not so much about natural attraction as it is a male dominance display.
This study was confirmed by observing men's behavior in an office workplace who were told their new boss would be a female coworker they had already been working with. Sure enough, the men began objectifying and sexualizing her at a far higher rate than when she had the same rank as them. Unsurprisingly, women did not have the same reaction if put under a male boss. If you are interested in the study I am happy to PM it to you.
It is one thing to have a natural reaction and briefly look at an attractive person walking by. But when men gawk, make nasty comments, etc they are sending a message about who is in charge and what the role of that woman is, whether they are conscious of it or not.
So, how can we as women handle this? Telling them how gross their behavior is never works. Sexualizing men in the same way doesn't quite have the same effect, but it can definitely make other men around uncomfortable which is nice. But I am open to other women's thoughts and ideas about how this is best handled, whether the woman being objectified is us or someone else nearby.
Now that you mentioned the dominance factor, it makes even more sense why straight dudes get triggered by homosexuality in men.
Their "attraction" toward women is purely based on dominance and objectification and they KNOW that it's disrespectful and dehumanizing thus why they lose their shit at the idea of a Homosexual dude making advances at them ... they are projecting, they don't want to be the receiving end of the same treatment they subjugate women to.
I saw a reel of a man catcalling other men for fun. He said some gross objectifying things to them, the same way male cat callers do to women. But still not as graphic. The men being catcalled were very upset by it. However, women are supposed to take that sort of disgusting behavior as a compliment.
Edit I found one of the videos
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTREcUcRc/
I was walking with my 18yr old daughter through a busy shopping high street. There were a mixed group of addicts on a bench. My daughter has an amazing bum (she calls herself big batty gal lol). She’s such a beauty and that’s not me being bias ;) .She wasn’t dressed provocatively or figure hugging. As we walked past they were shouting thing at her. It was awkward and I tried to ignore it but mama bear mode was activated lol. I turned around and stares back and shouted ‘ carry on and I’ll smash your fucking face in’ 🤦♀️ I really wanted to beat them all up I was disgusted. Not my best come back but the rage was immense! It really didn’t matter. They carried on but a little quieter. My daughter thanked me as we got away which helped me feel better that me standing up had made a difference to her. I don’t think there’s any point in confronting these objectifying beliefs…I’m a psych student and these schemas are not easily malleable. To confront it is to only make us and other women feel validated and safe and a feeling of empowerment for a moment for us. But we can be put in danger when we do so out of anger. We can’t change their behaviour but we can our own and do our best not to internalise it.
Aaahh shucks, so all those times males have cat called me they really didn't think I was cute? Jk