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People talk about pretty privilege and how people treat attractive people better. However, I think men treat you better depending on whether you perform femininity or not, somewhat regardless of your natural looks.
I'm pretty sure I look naturally pretty. The past couple years I have been dressing for my own comfort and don't bother with any femininity stuff outside of having long hair, which I often tie back in a low bun/ponytail when I'm just out running errands or studying or whatever. It saves me money and time, and I feel more capable of getting things done when I'm in comfortable clothes and shoes. In my experience most men will act all 'nice' if you wear makeup and a skirt, but if you're dressing comfortably they are visibly annoyed.
I think a lot of men feel instinctively irritated when they see a woman existing in public who is just not focused on performing any kind of femininity. It seems like it's an automatic, I see the irritation in their eyes when you need to talk to them. Maybe they're worried you'll help normalise it for other women?
Femininity as a construct fundamentally exists as a means of signaling women's willingness to oblige to men and obfuscating their humanity. So when a man sees a woman reject femininity, of course he's going to get mad. By not performing it, she's challenging his internal sense of superiority over the female sex and reminding him that underneath all the face-paint, shaved skin, and demeaning clothing, we're still human beings no different from himself
You want to watch a man go feral and begin foaming at the mouth tell him you hire people to do your landscaping, housekeeping, and cooking. Lmao. I don't cook, I don't clean, and my thumb ain't green. They go psychooo. Muahahaha.
Men know when we aren't paying attention to them or performing. It's the same way a lot of Whites feel when we hear ebonics, and it CAN trigger fear of class uprising.
"They aren't deferring to the 'norm,' or the dominant, my whole system could break."
For men, anger is actually the correct response, since they built ALL their shit on women's backs, and I'd be angry if I could feel female solidarity where i didnt want it.
At work, I have noticed that there’s this guy who only talks to women who are feminine. As with me, how he greets me is dependent on if I wear a skirt that day or trousers. Knowing this, I just wear trousers and ignore him while he pretends to be Casanova to the other girls.
For me it's been personality. Seems like I don't come at them with the warmth that is typical from the other women and it makes them mad. I'm not rude I'm just not warm