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Pretty much every other industry has a refund policy if you are unsatisfied with their products/services, discreet terms in payment agreement forms, and only charging a fee if their set up recommendations are successfully. Matchmakers and speed dating companies are the exact opposite. Many have an explicit no refund policy (they'll have an exchange policy at best), ambiguous terms in payment agreement forms (many will only say they'll set you up with men and will not specify the men's standards, the quantity of men they will set you up with as well as the time frame), and will charge you an expensive amount BEFORE anything happens.
I've thought about paying for a matchmaker or speed dating as I am currently at a point in life where every person in my social circle who is my age is female, but I've heard so many horror stories about matchmakers and speed dating that I really doubt it's worth it. These horror stories include:
-Setting you up with men who don't meet your standards despite you specifying them in advance
-Setting you up with men who are nowhere close to your age range
-Pressuring you not to disclose information that the other person may see as "dealbreakers" (e.g. being a single mother) during initial meetings
-Having every guy in the speed dating event to turn out to be unattractive, obese, balding, socially awkward, or condescending
-Not giving you the choice of picking speed dating events you like and allocating you to ones "the company sees as best fit" and the events turning out to be a disaster
-Allocating you to different speed dating events with the same male participants as previous events and then charing a separate fee for each event
-Paying employees to pretend to be matches and then setting them up with you
-Promising to set you up with men within a certain time period but never contacting you again after you paid for the matchmaking fee
-Guving your contact info to men that you specified that you are uninterested in after speed dating
-Hosting speed dating events at restaurants that don't serve tasty food
Honesty, I think the men who go to matchmakers or speed dating are generally at the bottom of the barrel. Maybe occasionally you have a guy who is struggling to meet women simply because he went to male only high school, studied a predominantly male degree (eg engineering), and then is now working in a predominantly male workplace but hey, men in this situation can meet women via being set up by people in their own networks (Surely some of their male friends will have single female friends and relatives, right?). It's often men who have dealbreakers preventing them from finding a girlfriend in their social circles that have to resort to matchmakers or speed dating.
I feel like speeddating is mostly visited by the same type of neckbeard who goes to salsa lessons to touch women. I refuse to pay for meeting men. Why would I?
Isn't it obvious?
Their whole business model relies on desperate single people staying single and paying money for their services. They don't have any interest in helping anyone find their perfect match. Someone finding their perfect match means losing two paying customers.
Setting up incompatible people isn't a mistake, an oversight or malice. It's a business decision.
Any form of dating that involves a neutral "middle man"--matchmaker service, speed dating, app, dating website is for men who feel entitled to women simply for existing and refuse to put in any effort.
They also believe any woman who participates with these neutral "middle men" are just as desperate as they are to find a mate and have no standards, so you're a perfect candidate for a woman they don't need to put effort into.
About ten or so years ago, I paid for a matchmaker.
Biggest waste of $1,000 in my life.
I was set up with two different men.
Neither of them were anywhere near worth the money I spent. One had nothing to talk about outside of his ambitions as a chef (which isn’t bad at all, but it’s like….do you do ANYTHING outside of work at all? Or is it all things you can’t/don’t want to tell me?)
The second guy revealed quite early on that he was full of himself and terribly sexist. He was anti-abortion, saying that he felt a woman should accept the “consequences”. I’ll never forget him because he was my first exposure to a man in the wild who genuinely believed women should be “punished” for sex.
I said, “Wow. Imagine having a child as a punishment. There will surely be excellent nurturing and care given to such a child. Also, abortion IS accepting the consequences, albeit perhaps not in the way you think a woman should accept them.”
I had his number blocked before I even backed out of the parking lot.
I myself am an unwanted child, and I have never seen nor heard from my father. I’m thirty-seven years old. Obviously, I’m pro-abortion. (I said what I said.)
Back on topic, matchmakers are a total waste of money and time. The matchmaking service called me a third time and I didn’t bother to answer or return the call; I figured two shitty $500 dates was enough.
Ugh I wish I could get a refund for trying speed dating.
A few years ago, my mother was pushing for me to go to a matchmaker. I refused because (1) the cost was $600 and I refuse to pay that kind of money to meet a man and (2) the whole thing gave me the ick, mainly for the reasons that OP mentioned. My mother spent an entire year harassing me about it but i held firm. Eventually I had to just tell my mother that the subject was no longer up for discussion and if she brought it up again in any context, even as a joke, I would never speak to her again. (I know that probably sounds harsh but after a year of her harassment, I was at the end of my tether). Fortunately my mother did back down but I know it was only because I gave her no choice, not because she actually cares about my mental health or well-being.
Anyway, I agree with the points the other posters have made about men assuming that any woman who goes to a matchmaker is desperate (even though they are also going to a matchmaker) and that many matchmakers nowadays are predatory and just out for money.