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Dear Queens,
I write this with much disappointment. I thought that when I graduated from college with a useful stem degree that meant that I had the chance to do something worthwhile and be welcomed to do it.
Hahahaha nope!
My current tech workplace literally had trump/pence bumper stickers on the walls when I first got there and my supervisor told me to my face that I was the diversity hire within the first month of my onboarding.
It may surprise you to hear that it did not get better from there.
My supervisor also asked me if my food allergy was a secret code for being a racist against the ethnic group most associated with the food I am allergic to. And the gendered insults don't stop coming.
Men band together to hide their misdeeds from accountability and as a contractor, I have no power.
I am resigned to giving up on this job and tech all together since I have no leverage to escape this job in this job market.
I once had hope that I could make a difference but the supervisor who hates me most (for being a woman outside of his ethnicity, I checked) was recently made my newest department head. I just cannot anymore.
And the true salt in the wound is that this job pays me so little (in a HCOL area for an onsite job) that the IRS refunded me for last year's salary. So I literally cannot save enough to leave unless I get a better offer.
Does working in tech ever get better?
Is there anything worth trying?
I'm trying to get software certs to escape but that is going slowly enough that this job has plenty of time to hurt me more.
Tech veteran here, but on the creative side. It does pay well, that's why I'm still in it, but working for myself.
Semiconductor chips, AI/ML, IoT and that ilk is doing exceptionally well right now and they are understaffed. Whip up a resume that aligns and pound the pavement. Lots of remote jobs available. If you're very technical, that's even better.
Look into the project management part of tech. And.. you don't need to be technical to do it. You just need to be organized and know enough context about tech stuff to be dangerous. Lots of remote jobs available. You can even watch YouTube videos to teach yourself logistics planning, forecasting etc if you want to dig deeper. Very niche and lots of money.
Account management for tech clients is another option. You don't need to be too techie because they'll usually assign you and SE counterpart.
Don't get too hung up on certs, it's not usually a show stopper unless you're a system engineer or developer.
I was never told I'm a diversity hire. That is an incredibly offensive thing for one's superior to say to you.
I'm in STEM. I was the only woman at my last job.
It was hell. I was hired to do what no one else on the team could. As you can imagine, men can't stand a woman being more capable than them.
I would suggest daily/weekly documenting your negative experiences and if such is contained in email..all the better. Fwd those emails to a different/non-work address. I also suggest never going to HR. HR is not your friend and will always side w your boss/corporate.
Tech is known to have a lot of remote opportunities. Could you try only applying to them? Thats the safest for women working in tech
You're being harassed, underpaid, and mistreated. There is zero benefit to you staying there. Document everything, leave, get a lawyer, get a better job. These men don't deserve to have us around in general, let alone to abuse.
Wait wait wait so you --the diversity hire -- are allergic to an ethnicity's food, therefore you -- the diversity hire -- are racist against that ethnicity? Your asshole boss is punishing you for being a woman and a minority by accusing you of racism. In the dumbest possible way. Not only is he an asshole, he's stupid.
I am highly familiar with your situation.
Women in tech groups don't do shit except allow their donors to pat themselves on the back.
Spend as much time as possible applying for new jobs. Get out of there.
Be discerning about what you do vs. do not take to HR. They're there to protect the company, yes, but if your boss is being enough of an asshole (i.e. calling you the "diveristy hire" to your face, or flirting with you), then he's the one endangering the company. If the scrotes on your team give you ammo, document it and use it against them.
Don't quit tech. It's all about finding the right tech company. I had some bad experiences with male bosses. I almost quit my field. I had a male aquaintance convince me that I'm capable, and that it was the sexism combined with the fact that I was a pushover and easy to bully. I stopped being a pushover and I joined a huge corporate company and things immediately got better. No racism or sexism. Gender and race are never brought up. They give you work, and there are equal expectations from everyone. You get promoted or rise up in rank based on how good you are at your job. There's a good amount of diversity too. My first two years were horrible. I completely understand what you're going through. If you're comfortable with send me a message and perhaps I can refer you to a couple of contracting companies that may be able to help you find remote work.
I'm really sorry you're experiencing this. I'm not in tech so I can't speak to that specifically, but unfortunately the toxic 'culture' you are describing is common and present in many industries, and you are also not alone in your disillusionment.
Here's what I would suggest as a starting point:
Are there any women-in-tech type of groups/associations you can connect with? At least to boost morale/helping you cope in the short term, with a longer view to finding better opportunities in female (and human) friendlier workplaces? And then of course keeping an eye out for any opportunities/positions...
They sound like assholes. I'm so sorry you are going through that.
I don't know much about the tech industry... I am from the education field.
Have you thought about looking for a tech position at a University? It may not be your dream job but it may buy you some time away from those assholes. They have so many positions available such as an E-Technology Specialist, Tech Consultant, Digital Content Creator, Assistive Technology, or even an Assistant Professor.
Look into it.
Good luck OP💕!
I stucks to hear you've had such a bad experience. I feel that many careers can be hostile to women, tech is hellish in its own way but I'm not sure it's better anywhere else in the corporate world. The emotionally / socially rewarding careers tend to be underpaid or unstable (only temp contracts for example). I know it sounds cynical, but I feel it's best to face the fact that many jobs WILL suck, and like dating, you have to hold out for the one that fits your standards, even though digging through the trash is exhausting. In your case I'd reduce hours if I could and work on securing another job on the side.