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When anthropologists go to other societies and poll the males, they usually say they are more attracted to bigger women. In any culture, males wax on and on about big butts, big boobs, curves, "jelly", etc. There is absolutely no biological reason males should be less attracted to overweight females. Quite the opposite, in fact. A fat woman has access to resources such as food and being fat is a signal that your children will be provided for. Fat women, biologically/evolutionarily speaking, are MORE attractive. Not less. It makes absolutely no evolutionary sense at all for a normal male to not be attracted to a chubby woman.
This has been true in my personal experience as well. When I was a little overweight, the men who were attracted to me seemed to be MORE attracted to me. "More to love" etc. Of course, I was only 20-30 pounds overweight so I do not have the experience of a woman who weighs more, and I do not mean to speak for them. The dynamics are probably different at higher weights.
Regardless, in my opinion, males are highly attracted to women who appear well fed. They are attracted to most women so of course they are attracted to the women who appear to have access to abundant resources. Reproducing with a chubby looking woman would secure his offsprings' futures. So the hatred for fat women cannot be explained alone by them being unattracted to fat women.
They were explicitly taught by culture to be attracted to skinny women because they want us to appear, and to be, weak and selfless. If we are skinny, we look like we do not take too much for ourselves and cannot fight back. We feed others before feeding ourselves. We neglect ourselves. We sacrifice ourselves. Males are attracted to the sacrificial nature of women by culture, not by nature.
I am sure you have all noticed that the hate for fat women is much stronger when the woman is black. I am not black but this is an obvious trend. Males look at someone who is double "below" them (in their shit worldview)... she is not only female, but black! How dare she be healthy and full and have access to resources! MY TAX DOLLARS! They will drone on about "welfare queens" with extreme hatred, and the source of this hatred is NOT because they are not attracted to the woman. It is because they do not want to see evidence of black women with resources.
This is also the reason they don't care as much if men are fat. Men "deserve" the food, due to being male. And they do this with resources besides food, such as money or time. They do this with any "expense". They think we deserve nothing and if we are fat, we have "taken too much". After all, the money she spent on her last meal could have gone to a man!
The only "correct" woman, in their world view, is one who hates herself and sacrifices as much as humanly possible. She should starve while her family eats or she is a bad person. They want us to value ourselves at 0%, and males at 100%. They literally think we do not deserve to have enough food. They think it is hot when we are deprived because then we are more easily manipulated. They want us downtrodden and easy to control.
They think we do not deserve "their" resources. They think we do not deserve "their" food. For every fat woman, there is a hypothetical male who isn't getting the worship he "deserves". How DARE she take anything for herself! How dare she LIVE for herself! How dare she indulge in yummy food when I am here without a girlfriend to cook my meals! How dare she cook for herself! How dare she waste money on food for herself! How dare she not put ME first!
They want us poor, they want us sick, they want us weak, they want us wanting.
Of course, this is all conjecture... but I think I am right.
I'm gonna go eat some of the delicious, high calorie food I bought for myself.
Wow. What an accurate description. You’re very, very right.
It comes down to CONTROL. I once had a LV guy watch me eat every mouthful of my food (in a restaurant), in some sort of strange disdain. Whereas a HV guy took joy in ordering different types of food, to share the experience with me, and provide me with pleasure.
hmm I think it's just about society inventing unattainable/difficult standards to try and erode women's confidence.
In historically poorer societies the "standard" is fuller figured and curvier, because that is harder to attain for poor women (e.g. the poor women would have to marry a wealthy man who can provide extra food).
They also dislike athletic women for being "unfeminine." You have the dynamic with resouces going on because we have to eat properly to develop muscle, but you have the additional complication that athletic women are STRONG. They own the power in their bodies, and get all the life affirming benefits of working out. Sounds attractive to me!
It's absolutely a control thing.
(According to a study) Lower income males tend to go after heavier women because they feel like "they have more". Higher income males tend to go after skinnier women because they're easier to control.
I wish that study included woc because it would've exposed males years ago as the degenerates they are in terms of attraction.
So yeah it's all tied to the many "quirky" ways men see us as property.
No, see, I think it's even worse than this. They perceive it not as a waste of their time or resources, but as a threat to the world as they think it ought to be. You see, other women can see you happy and living your own life, not conforming to how men think you should look or behave, and more to the point caring not a whit for those men's approval or even actively rejecting it. And if those other women see you, then they might stop caring about conforming in those ways or cultivating that approval, either. They might come to understand that they don't need men, that their worth does not depend on anyone's opinion of them other than their own. And once they're had this realization, the sort of mediocre men who are so infuriated by Lizzo and others like her loose their ability to cajole, neg, or otherwise convince women that they should seek their approval. And that approval -- for which there is a carefully cultivated but ultimately fragile artificial demand, which they provide the supply to meet -- is the only thing they have to offer; they have no respect, no good humor, no willingness to contribute mutually to a relationship, and so without the contrived currency of their approval and desire, they have nothing. They are nothing. And they will be alone.
Here's something to kind of piggyback off of what you were saying. Why is it EVERY TIME I display any kind of REAL physical strength around them they say "I don't wanna get YOU mad" or insinuating in some way that I would hurt them?
I look at them and say "then don't be a bad boy" or something. Why are they ALWAYS so quick to say these things EVERY TIME? Why does it bother me so much?
This whole post and comments is just...perfection. You wrote so eloquently. This needs to be the hold standard of FDS posts. This post literally reads like it cane from an actual 2nd wave book, I'm not kidding.
This makes me sad, and I couldn’t figure out why…it took me a beat to nail it down but I think I got it.
First, no disrespect meant whatsoever. I think this is a really interesting post and idea!!!
The part that makes me sad is who cares what men should be, could be, would be attracted to.
FDS is about women first, and what benefits us. When I read this post, it felt like a dig at women who are thin. As in, “men aren’t [or really aren’t] attracted to you.”
Who cares?
The only thing that matters is that we—as women in FDS—are happy and healthy. That’s it. Being dangerously obese is not healthy and shouldn’t be encouraged for any reason. Being dangerously thin is not healthy and shouldn’t be encouraged for any reason.
If you are truly happy and healthy at whatever weight you happen to be at, that’s all that matters. That’s it.
Male attention is cheap and meaningless.
My personal interpretation of FDS messaging is, “I feel great because [insert whatever here that is zero basis in gauging the male gaze].”
Again, please know I mean no disrespect whatsoever. You touch on some really important issues, and I don't disagree with many of your points.
Sisters who are curvy and sisters who are thin: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL 🧡
"...and so without the contrived currency of their [men's] approval and desire, they have nothing. They are nothing. And they will be alone."
Wow. This stopped me in my tracks! So insightful. 👏
Do you have a problem with skinny women? We're not weak and meek. Clearly, LVM have gotten to your self esteem. Being fat is not good for your health and while that's no reason to shame you, there's no reason to shame skinny people either. There are actually lots of fat people who are in poverty and cannot afford to eat a healthy diet, which is why they are overweight. If you're overweight, I personally see that as you have an issue with food, or you can only afford frozen meals that are not nutrient dense but high in calories.
Nobody wants someone with a fat stomach. They like the fat in certain areas: boobs, butt, and some thighs. But there’s a limit. Nothing wrong with being overweight and you shouldn’t accept poor treatment but men will fuck anything. Men will have sex with fruit, animals, trees, and the like. But they have different standards of attractiveness for those they’ll marry. A man will have sex with you even if you’re uglier than a chihuahua. It doesn’t mean anything.