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Daddy Issues is the go to insult for women right now, those of us who struggled with men in the past, or especially the women who are wrapped up in the whole "sex work is work, it's eMpoWeRiNG" fiasco. We are blamed for everything, things we have no say or control in. Dad left you as a baby? Your fault. Shouldn't have been a baby. You struggled having a positive male role model in your life and sought out male attention to make up for it later in life? Whore. That's your fault too. Your partner abandoned you and your child? Too bad, should have picked a better guy, your fault!
When I hear people in my life use the term daddy issues as an insult, I immediately turn it around and question them on how exactly that's supposed to be an insult. Shouldn't we be mad and disappointed in the man who failed her instead?
This post was prompted because I was recently contacted by my own POS "father" who enjoys insulting my mother who raised me as a single teen mom. You know what his favourite diss of her is? She was on welfare throughout my childhood. Because he didn't pay child support. Yeah so the mother of your child is on WELFARE and you think that looks badly on her but not yourself??? Your child is being fed and clothed with government money instead of your own?? My mom always worked, made a better life for us, put herself through college, got a good job, bought a house, all while raising her child alone. What has he done with his life? Absolutely nothing. What has he contributed to his child? Nothing. And to think someone can spin that around on me and blame and insult me for that failed relationship makes me incredibly angry.
Ladies we need to change the narrative and stop allowing this language in our society, we can't tolerate it any longer. Call it out. Let's put the blame back squarely where it belongs.
They play a few cards here: The first card they play is blaming you for not being able to understand that they're trying to hurt you. (Daddy didn't teach you?) So, when you view them as people who can treat you like a person, and they invariably DON'T, it's not because you're a woman who thought they'd be civil. It's because nobody taught you about how things are "and should be." The next thing they're doing is overplaying how important fathers are, when actually, most fathers destroy the very souls of their daughters on purpose. Even dads who are "protective" and do "daddies little girl" stuff never truly want their daughters to be a fully realized woman. There are exceptions, since dads typically learn that female people are still people by having kids. The NEXT thing they're doing is pretending that moms aren't more likely to warn daughters about men, and they're UNDERVALUING single moms in order to solidify the idea of nuclear families (female slavery). They are doing all these things at once, on purpose, instead of saying "wow, you're beautiful and I want to treat you like a true person." We are categorized as non-people to them, because if they saw us as people, they'd look at history and hate themselves. They'd probably look at themselves and realize how dependent the male actually is on the female.
As a young woman with “daddy issues” (my father picked when he felt like being a dad and came around whenever) the joke is on these men. It’s because of my father that my standards are so high. They love to think of us as having low self esteem and being easy to manipulate, but some of us come out tougher. No man will treat me like my dad treated me and my single mother. I’ll die before I let that happen. As a result, men have to prove they are worthy of being in a relationship with me. And they hate it! 😂
Sing it, sister! Like you, I have a particular loathing for this term and if I ever have the misfortune of hearing anyone at all, man or woman, using it IRL they will have the misfortune of me going through them like a dose of salts. This language is NOT ok.
Also, sorry to hear about your sperm donor and his 'daughter deficiency' (to borrow a term) issues. You deserved better. We all deserve better than these absent and neglectful fucks.
Or who hurt you when I share statistics where black men create the most broken homes.
Please file a restraining order against your sperm donor 🙏 He sounds terrifying