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Just a few quick, fun takeaways from my Christmas with the extended family. Every year I go and every year I remember why I don't visit more often...
according to his parents a toy gun is a more appropriate gift for a 9-year old slightly nerdy boy than the "breed your own sea monkeys" kit I got him (which he unpacked immediately and loved), because they want him to go outside more
"Well, I didn't have two babies in the last three years" is not the correct reply to a cousin making comments about my figure (I meant it nicely, I swear! I was just trying to say it's easier to stay thin if you are not pregnant back to back)
related to that: dressing "too nicely" (I wore a simple, not revealing dress and my normal, nice jewellery) for a family Christmas event is apparently "showing off", talking about any accomplishments other than having babies or getting married is also "showing off"
if you don't take over a child or a chore the minute you enter the room while all the boys and men get to sit down and have a drink you are being a bad guest
Once a woman has a husband and children all gifts for her must be related to household stuff, kid stuff, pregnancy stuff or even actually be gifts for the kids
spending most of the time playing with the kids or pets because the adults drive you crazy with their pickme bullshit and uneducated, uninformed politics talk and you hope you can at least plant the idea that a different life is possible in the next generation is "being unsociable"
If an elderly aunt graciously tells you it would be okay to use IVF to have kids if I don't find a husband in time (I do not want kids), the correct reply is not "Great, why don't you order a sperm donor catalogue and circle the ones you like best for next year!"
Sisters, I am done for this year.
This sounds like a nightmare. If I were you I would pretend to be sick next year so you can avoid going…tell them you have something highly contagious such as gastroenteritis or pneumonia.