Christmas with the extended family is always fun...

This sounds like a nightmare. If I were you I would pretend to be sick next year so you can avoid going…tell them you have something highly contagious such as gastroenteritis or pneumonia.

Wow! This sounds terrible.

Your observations are brilliant - and funny but sad.

Ugh what a world. Most people are so deeply brainwashed by the patriarchy. I’m glad you survived, and lived to tell us and make me laugh. Thank you 😂

Thank god my family respects me being CF, though I went NC with my sibling and celebrated seperately.

Oh boy, I got something to say for all of these:

• according to his parents a toy gun is a more appropriate gift for a 9-year old slightly nerdy boy than the "breed your own sea monkeys" kit I got him (which he unpacked immediately and loved), because they want him to go outside more

--They're not good parents if they can't find something he would be interested in that would get him outside more. I swear, too many parents want their kids to be normal like other kids but then when they are normal like other kids, they give them special treatment, then when they are special, they try to drag them back into being "normal".

• "Well, I didn't have two babies in the last three years" is not the correct reply to a cousin making comments about my figure (I meant it nicely, I swear! I was just trying to say it's easier to stay thin if you are not pregnant back to back)

--I'll be honest, I wouldn't appreciate that reply either if I had birthed 2 kids in the last 3 yrs. I don't know how the exchange went down, but I don't blame whoever it was for getting sensitive to that reply. I think there is a way to say it that gives compliments to the mother but it has to be worded very carefully.

• related to that: dressing "too nicely" (I wore a simple, not revealing dress and my normal, nice jewellery) for a family Christmas event is apparently "showing off", talking about any accomplishments other than having babies or getting married is also "showing off"

--HOWEVER!--I think this scenario deserves all the mean replies on purpose to shut them up! I would just call them straight out: "Do better, I guess? Not my fault you're intimidated by me, my accomplishments and my wardrobe."

• if you don't take over a child or a chore the minute you enter the room while all the boys and men get to sit down and have a drink you are being a bad guest

--They're being a bad host if they expect you to lift a finger. Do they want to enjoy your company or extract free labor out of you?

• Once a woman has a husband and children all gifts for her must be related to household stuff, kid stuff, pregnancy stuff or even actually be gifts for the kids

--That is so sad. If there's a way you can eloquently imply that your gift was recognizing the recipient as a whole woman with an identity beyond a motherhood and marriage, I would reply with that.

• spending most of the time playing with the kids or pets because the adults drive you crazy with their pickme bullshit and uneducated, uninformed politics talk and you hope you can at least plant the idea that a different life is possible in the next generation is "being unsociable"

--Ok do they want you to help out with the kids or not? Which is it? They can't have it both ways.

• If an elderly aunt graciously tells you it would be okay to use IVF to have kids if I don't find a husband in time (I do not want kids), the correct reply is not "Great, why don't you order a sperm donor catalogue and circle the ones you like best for next year!"

--I see nothing wrong with your response at all, but maybe "Bold of you to assume I even want children or marriage" might stop the argument sooner?

They are so jealous of you it's radiating right off the page.

Lucky for me, my extended family is nice to me. With only the exception of one cousin who insists on being an asshat and badgering me about my personal life. Everyone else shoots disapproving looks at him when he does it, though. He's ten years older than me and is the type of scrote who thinks he can do better than his lovely wife (the whole family thinks she is too good for the likes of him 😆).

The thought have crossed my mind that maybe most of my extended family think I'm living a sad life. Hey, I'll take it so I can continue to live my actually pretty sweet life, plus enjoy being treated with oodles of warmth and kindness when I visit extended family. 😁

This seems genuinely horrible. I experience similar stuff like this at family gatherings. Specifically my older sister and my cousin sisters who are older than me. Their dumb ass question of “when are you going to get married” by pick me aunties, who are miserable in their own pathetic marriages. It’s generally just a way to make clearly happy, independent & single Women be just as miserable and sad as they are. Cultural misogny is so normalised, and I never realised how bad it was only until I started educating myself on feminism. Wishing you a Merry Christmas and don’t take their BS seriously!

Taken people always give off an air of being jealous of my freedom. I know most (if not all) of them would trade places with me in a heartbeat and the negs are a dead giveaway.

Sea monkeys are always an amazing gift for little ones! 🥰