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My ex-husband fucked up with something regarding our son and when he picked him up today he brought me a bunch of my favourite flowers. I said no thank you and handed them back.
The flowers were for his benefit not mine and they do not get real estate in the sanctuary that is my home. I don't want to look at them and think of him. I don't want to associate my favourite flowers with him. I don't owe him receipt of flowers.
It probably sounds silly but this feels like a big step for me in standing up for myself. Women are meant to be polite and grateful but I'm not. So sod him and his flowers.
I know exactly what you mean OP. There are so many men who think that they can screw up and then fob us off with a bunch of flowers or a half-hearted apology and we'll accept it and the whole thing will be brushed under the rug, never to be spoken of again.
Well done. If you had accepted it, you would have taught him that it costs a bunch of flowers to screw you over (again). You stood your ground and raised the price it costs to disrespect you and to make it up. Proud of you!
Well done! This reminds me so much of when my ex husband started dating a tweaker before our divorce was even finalized. She fancied herself an artist and would make huge ugly paintings with my kids names, then send them home with them expecting me to hang them in their bedroom. I told him "you have walls in your home- hang them there."
"The flowers were for his benefit not mine and they do not get real estate in the sanctuary that is my home." LOVE THIS!!!
The best apology is a change of behaviour.
Not silly at all. This is queen shit. Way to go!
I love this for you.
Protect your heart, space and mind. Perfectly played, Queen. Well done. Fuck him and his guilt trip! You’re right about whose benefit they were for.
Fuck-up flowers are the worst. Who wants flowers that make them think of a scrote, they would just make me sad to have in the house.
Giving flowers is a glorified breadcrumb. I assume he never brought you flowers when you was still with him.
Kids or not when a man leaves I don't want to see him again, and all the parents whine that you need to have a good friendship or stay in touch for the kids..
no you did great. You don't owe him kindness or gratitude. With your favorite flowers he wanted to see if you still have a spark for him and if he can't properly replace you he'll use that to his advantage.
It's not silly at all. Good for you!
He had alllll the years you were married + dating gf/bf to do that. So why now? 🤔