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I have mentioned in an older post that I have been trying to find another job for 3 years, and how frustrating it has been. My therapist gave me the number of one of her clients (she told her client about me and she agreed to be contacted by me regarding a job). This woman works as an assistant to the CEOs assistant at a large commercial real estate firm in Manhattan. My therapist told me that she talked to her about me and hyped me up to her. I agreed to give her a call to find out more about the position.
I called her last night, and as she told me more about the position I realized this was far beyond my abilities as a receptionist. They do train you, the salary and benefits are great. However, she told me this is not your typical 9-5 job and would sometimes need to be available nights and weekends. I was not thrilled about that, because I'm looking for a normal 9-5 role with better pay and benefits. This position does come with a lot of pressure far more than I'm comfortable with. My future boss is very nice, but she's very tough I was told. The hours are from 9:00-5:30 pm and since it takes me over an hour from my home, I would be coming back by 7:30. I need a job where my commute is an hour or less. Usually when I hear about a job I'm very excited and hope I would hear from a hiring manager. This time however, I was not excited at all. I still sent her my resume and she said she would forward it to the hiring team and let me know what would happen.
I thanked her for her time and called my therapist right after. I told her what happened and she was very excited and said I had to take the job. It would open up to more doors and meet new people. I told her I had doubts and she told me I need to stop underestimating myself and if I still want to stay as a receptionist and if I'm still applying for those roles, I told her no I wasn't. I know my therapist means well, but I don't know what made her think I could handle this kind of workload. Going from a receptionist to working for the CEOS assistant is a huge jump. You have to be on alert all the time and sometimes on call. I want a job where I could leave work and not think about it until Monday morning.
I received this text from her this morning:
I told her what my thoughts were and that this wasn't the right role for me. I'm nervous to tell my therapist how it went because she was very excited for me. I don't want her start saying why are you underestimating yourself, this is a great opportunity and so on...As desperate as i am for a new job, I knew this particular role would not be right for me. I knew I was going to be burnt out in a short amount of time. No salary for me is worth that.
Do you all think I made the right decision?
How do I tell my therapist that I turned it down without her being disappointed? She has been helping me with the job hunt sometimes as well. I feel like I'm letting her down.
Society glorifies being a workaholic. It sounds like you have clear boundaries on how you want work to fit into your life. Just like you wouldn’t bend these boundaries for a man, don’t bend them for a job. You don’t want to work evenings/weekends, so don’t interview for a job that emphasizes how “demanding” it is. That’s a yellow flag anyway that they don’t respect your time and quality of life.
Also I agree with other ladies here that your therapist playing recruiter and matching you with another client’s open job seems highly unprofessional and uncomfortable. Her focus should be your mental health, not a career ladder that you don’t even want.
You absolutely made the right decision. I worked a contract for a year that required nights and weekends at weird times. It destroyed my mental health.
You also need to fire your therapist. It’s ironic that she’s ur therapist first of all. But maybe she wants you to be stressed so you keep paying for her therapy. Gross
I think you honored your needs and that was the right thing for you, and for them. It sounds like they need a different kind of personality, assistant roles can be a lot. Definitely different to being a receptionist. Personally, I think your therapist is crossing some lines... I hope you find the right opportunity for you!
Whoa whoa whoa. This all screams unprofessional to me. Your therapist should never be connecting clients with one another. That’s 1.
2. Your therapist has no right to tell you which job to take or not to take, which is good for you and which is not good for you.
3. You should not be looking for a therapist’s validation. You are nervous to talk to her because you feel scared of criticism and judgment. That’s not ok. It’s very important that you communicate to your therapist how you feel. Tell her you’re seeking her validation, tell her you didn’t like how she told you that you underestimate yourself (seems like you did not appreciate that). There is codependency going on in this dynamic.
Your therapist should not be helping you find a job! Wow reading this post makes me feel even more grateful for the therapist I have. No offense. A good therapist is everything!!!!
It’s your life and you can choose any job that makes you happy! If you think the role isn’t good for you , then it’s not. You know yourself best.
Do you currently have a job and just looking for something else?
However, I do think if you want a better pay and benefits you may have to be ok with working evenings and weekends sometimes or the job being more demanding than what you’re used to.
In my career, I do have to work evenings and weekends all the time, it can be hard to have a social life because you are free when everyone else is at work. So I get not wanting that. But this job is only asking this from you sometimes.
I think in terms of careers we have to make sacrifices every once in a while. This job, while it’s demanding could open up doors and opportunities for you and eventually you could find something that fits a 9-5 lifestyle.
Only you’ll know if it was right to turn down the interview but if it was me, I’d probably take it, especially since I could use that experience to find something that’s a better fit for me.