Office Gossip: ONLY share information that you WANT to be SPREAD OUT.

You've been backstabbed too many times at work that even the thought of sharing your birth name causes trauma;

But being steadfastly secretive and keeping everyone at bay causes your work life to be supremely difficult.

And the office gossiper starts spreading outright lies about you because she (or he) didn't get anything from you personally.

Here's the solution:

Feel free to share "personal" things -- but only the things you WANT to be spread out.

Or things you don't care even if the CEO hears it.

I'll give you my personal examples:

A) I am obsessed with horror movies but loathes gore and violence in my horror -- because that is not scary, that is plain stupid. Gore and violence "horror" are lying to themselves. Give me the dread, the macabre, the mystery, the unknown, the things that will stay with you for decades.

Everytime somebody talk about some ghostie ghost, I can go HOURS on this topic alone.

It is "personal" (it is an interest) -- but also gives nothing away. And you still seem friendly because you share something you feel intensely about.

B) I don't celebrate holidays because "family drama". If somebody keep prodding you to share the juice, tell them EXACTLY the things you hate about THEM while masquareding it to be one of the "toxic family member". Have fun but don't go too far.

They will hesitate to make fun of you the next time. Because they are afraid you will start to see them the same way you see your "toxic family member".

C) If they tryna make you gossip about someone you both intensely hate -- start with pointing out her/his ONE "quality" that you are personally amazed with. Just one, no matter how petty it is.

A work skill is a good pick. And keep hammering about how "amazing" the person is in that particular skill, but alas, "nobody's perfect" and sigh a little.

If the gossiper is unsatisfied and steer you to talk sh*t, insist on your prior point, "BUT he is amazing at his typing! Didn't you see how fast he demolish that paperwork? I wish I have that skill! But again, nobody's perfect in this world." And sigh again.

Build the reputation as the one that "sees" everybody's potential -- if only they act better.

D) Use the gossip to your advantage.

You want the boss to stop rushing you? Tell the gossiper your laptop is broken.

You don't want them seeking you for extra workload? Tell the gossiper that one time you "majorly fucked up a task because I did what they told me to do -- and the file is gone!". Do not be afraid to play dumb and weaponize your supposed "incompetence" -- you do it to protect yourself, not hurting others.

You are late to work? Tell the gossiper the train run over a bunch of birds or some shit and it was horrifying.

You don't want to be pressured to drink? Warn them you once puked on an exec because you didn't know how lightweight you are.

Lie. Just make stories up. And let the gossip spread.

LIE.

Workplace is not the place to be the "good honest citizen" -- your company is actively lying to you and will drop you once you are useless to them anyway.

And your coworkers will not hesitate to backstab and throw you under the bus for their own safety.

So play the game a little. Instead of getting continously hurt and crying everytime you wake up, just play the game a little.

The difference is that you play by your rules, not theirs.

Stay safe, STAY WOMAN.