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Dear Queens,
I once had hope. I graduated with an excellent STEM degree and was recruited into a contractor position with a reputable Fortune 500 tech company.
I thought it would be possible to contribute. I thought I could be a trailblazer.
I ended up being the only woman and was mercilessly mocked by my boss who became department head. He transferred me to another team where it took less than a week for my new supervisor to ask me if I was single or married. Only to clarify that he wanted to know if I was pregnant or not.
That doesn't even mention the Roe v wade loss reaction that I got from my team that convinced me to go remote asap.
I spent money on job search coaches to revive my LI profile and hints on how to change my resume.
While it did result in new interviews, all they were doing was offering me the exact same job that I am desperate to escape. Once I tried those interviews, they all demand that I stay with my current employer since I don't have enough experience and they don't want to mentor me at this point in my career.
I now have a list of states that I cannot accept opportunities from since the loss of Roe v Wade.
I tried to attend a women's conference for my industry. All of the people interested in hiring me want me to stay as the rare female hire in my current field; which again I am trying to escape since the harassment of women is endless in my field, especially since remote work is rarely offered to newer professionals in this field.
I am now realizing that tech will never welcome me unless I go get a masters since clearly a bachelors degree isn't enough. But I'm terrified of going into debt just to face the same problem.
What lazy girl remote job should I try since I'm too burnt out to produce quality sw projects to be eligible for those opportunities?
Hey, I'm a fellow STEM degree female with consulting job, I feel the pain. But please don'tlet scrotes win. If you are good with what you do, your experience will speak for you. Don't get intimidated by scrotes.
they do it on purpose to mess with you and see if you'll leave, they're giant children. Don't back down.
...You should be filing reports on gender-based harassment. It's illegal for a boss to try to suss out if you're pregnant or not for the reasons that he did. There are other women who are more serious than you about working in STEM, hate to say it. I know what you're talking about, btw. I've been one of TWO women working alongside about 50 men before. How bad do you want to make your bachelor degree work, because it's already enough, as you were hired.
What kind of roles are you interested in/qualified for? Would you consider a smaller start up type space/employer? You might be able to find something more women centric/friendly in that space, but I imagine the pay and job security may be a bit riskier. But the day to day may suck you less of your sanity and life force.
If scrotes were my only problem then I’d have long since drifted to another job by now. This is my first job since graduating university in late 2021. People are just not willing to hire younger workers in tech right now.
My whole problem is lacking experience, which of course I have no true control over.
i'm not you, but please don't give up. you sound capable, intelligent and high-spirited. they can't break you and they have no power over you except what you give them.
you are in a position to help so many women...i'm trying to break into this industry also, but i don't even have a bachelor's in comp sci, so it's taking awhile.
the point about hiring an attorney is great: if they are seriously being a-holes, find someone who will fight in patriarchal language for you and agree to get paid after the settlement.
we believe in you!
It's pretty difficult working with men. I've been doing it since 1995. The one thing I'll tell you is that they can't take the knowledge and experience you have. Every job I've had eventually turns bad due to male nature of having to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. But I try to keep my feelings out of it, learn as much as I can, make money, and network with others in my field. That way, I can always move to another company.