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Hey, so just wanted to express some uncomfortable feelings I have sometimes to hear what you'll have to say. I enjoy building professional relationships, contacting mentors, speaking one on one about my projects and things around my life. But, sometimes, with certain people, I feel that weird uncomfortable tension that the relationship could potentially cross an uncomfortable line, whatever that means. It's hard to say when I feel this, maybe we just connect academically/professionally in a strong way. I am VERY cautioned against this and I would never take such a step. I also think this line of feeling comes from all the media around such relationships.
Do any of y'all have advice on how to feel more comfortable but still be protective about these relationships? How do I keep building that socialbility without being nervous or worried? Or is my intuition right?
You don’t need to be nervous. You just need to ensure you have very strict boundaries when it comes to mentorship or networking with men. My suggestion is to seek to network with successful women more than men personally. However, if you are connecting with men and someone crosses the line, cut off that relationship. If someone is into you, it will not change .. I would use the same FDS rules to vet professional relationships. You can also keep it very surface level (don’t get too deep about your personal life) and just focus on work. If they try to cross this boundary and get closer to you personally, then drop them.
so...your intuition is 99.9999% always right. it's YOUR intuition, it keeps YOU safe, regardless of what Rolling Stone Magazine, TikTok, Jesus, Science, Oprah or FDS says. there's something to be said about calculated risks, but you have to make your own calculations and ultimately make your own decisions.
i think accumulating experience (and therefore wisdom), money and the power of choice lends a lot to feeling more comfortable navigating professional relationships...any relationship, really. it depends on the nature of the relationship, but i would tend to play the long-game. gain an awareness of your feelings (which it sounds like you have) and then run through all possible scenarios before taking action, unless your intuition is telling you to jump.
we can't 100% prevent pain, misfortune or loss, but we can learn from mistakes (both ours and others') and make better decisions. vetting applies to professional colleagues and collaborators, too.