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In the fall, I'll be getting a new supervisor. We are a digital company and roles are WFH, but my upcoming new boss is in town for a conference and wanted to meet for dinner tonight with his wife.... so I went. Just to preface, we hardly know each other but he's worked over another team at my company for 5 years.
Just some shorthand observations.
He included his wife at the beginning of our conversation and was really sweet to her in hopes (what seemed) she wouldn't feel left out of his "work stuff."
Eventually he called another woman we work with his "work wife" in front of his wife... she was clearly not satisfied with this term and kept protesting by saying, "No, you guys were more like Bill and Ted." She kind of said it over and over. My boss barely noticed her point but I sure as hell did. I wanted to high five that lady so badly LOL. "Work wife".... pffft.
His wife is a travelling nurse and they move and live all over the world every 3 months. Before recently, they were in Guam. They are in their 40s and have been married 20 years. They have kids from previous marriages.. they dated in HS and I guess he was a jerk to her. Later he decided she was the one (LOL).. way later. After they both had married once and had kids with a previous spouse....
I was nervous about meeting him because I hardly know him and it's a man in charge of my pay (f that), but honestly it seemed more like he was trying to sell himself to me the whole night. About how the change will be okay (the change has all of us nervous). I was trying to discern if he was trying to make me feel okay about such a massive switch up or if he was just scroting out.
He has a good heart for the profession we are in. The things he stated are important to him align well with what I already do and also find important at work. It seems mostly like a great fit.
We've professionally butted heads in the past (honestly it was miscommunications from other people nothing he nor I did, and none of it was anything major), but he's also been great to me the few other times when we interacted.
I know he's nice and people who've worked under him say great things at least from what I've heard, but I also get the sense that he packs some heat can be too staunch, doesn't understand certain things about our daily work.
We did dinner, but it lasted 4 and 1/2 hours. I was tired and so was his wife and he just kept talking LOL. Men love their own voice so much.
It went well, I feel good about it all, but I'm curious what FDSers get from these things? The last time I had a male boss he was fucking two different subordinates and since I wasn't one of them that guy mostly treated me like shit. Just makes me nervous to work under a man again because I've worked under amazing women for years and have absolutely loved it (why t f are they changing things). The "work wife" he talked about was my last supervisor here and I've never had a better experience with someone as my boss. She was absolutely fantastic and molded me to get better in my field. She was actually life-changing.
Whole thing just has me nervous. Curious what you all get from this and how to best protect myself at work this upcoming year. And trust me, I know... the "work wife" comment was 🤮
The worst bosses I've ever had have been women, but it sounds like this is a boss you shouldn't be alone in any room with. However he sounds generally OK, he gets points for bringing his wife along!