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I have been at my job for 5 years now. It started off great. I was consistently praised for my good work and quickly promoted up the ladder. It's not particularly fulfilling work, and I'd much rather being doing something else, but the pay is good and the benefits of getting to work from home are great. Since I just hit the 5-year milestone, I now receive another week of PTO.
But, I started feeling increasingly unfulfilled about 2 years ago. I had an extensive talk with my boss about how I'd like to be given more challenging work to help grow my skills, rather than doing the same mundane tasks every day, etc. I was told that things would change, but they still haven't. I've come to the conclusion that management simply likes to dangle the carrot on a string in front of their employees, always promising opportunities for growth but never delivering. I have seen many people leave over the years, but I myself am struggling to leave. I have become victim to the sunk cost fallacy.
I keep thinking I am experiencing "struggle love" with my job. I have cOmMuNiCaTeD all my needs and tried everything in my power to help maintain my sanity working there. I have learned HR is not on my side. I just received my yearly review, and compared it to last year's review. They are identical. I am struggling to find any motivation to keep doing the same thing each day without any incentive. How am I supposed to become better as an employee if there simply isn't any room for me to be given more challenges? It's like "if he wanted to, he would," but in the context of management holding me back. I'm a forever girlfriend to my job.
I have been extensively job searching, desperate to just find anything that will pay enough to keep me afloat, but also allow me to work from home. My current job is severely affecting my mental health. I think my boss is jealous of me. She is just a couple years older and this past year has been awful dealing with her increasing abuse toward me. I think she is jealous of my self confidence, work ethic, and positive attitude, and is trying to break me down. It genuinely feels like an abusive relationship, and I know I need to get out.
If this were a relationship, I think it would be so much easier to just block and delete and move on. But, I need money to survive. I'm fearful that I won't find anything better if I just quit without another job already lined up. I've already been applying but haven't heard back from anything. I'm feeling increasingly stuck. My current job isn't allowing me to develop any transferrable skills into other industries. My self esteem is shot from management keeping me down, just like how a bad boyfriend tries to "humble" their girlfriends who are clearly out of their league. I keep being gaslit by others telling me "how good I have it" because I get to work from home, how I should be thankful to have a job at all, "everyone hates their job," etc. I am doubting myself for wanting to leave even though I am becoming more depressed every day. I don't know how to get out of this.
The best time to look for a job is when you already have job.
OP, I was in dead end job a few weeks ago. It drained me. I cried for the first few months and thought about breaking my contract and burning bridges. I was plotting my exit the third week into my job. I left and picked up a contract 3 days after doing temp work. The change was amazing. I’m doing things that I’m qualified in and it’s been fulfilling. I feel motivated and stimulated. It’s a happier environment.