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I have been at my job for 5 years now. It started off great. I was consistently praised for my good work and quickly promoted up the ladder. It's not particularly fulfilling work, and I'd much rather being doing something else, but the pay is good and the benefits of getting to work from home are great. Since I just hit the 5-year milestone, I now receive another week of PTO.
But, I started feeling increasingly unfulfilled about 2 years ago. I had an extensive talk with my boss about how I'd like to be given more challenging work to help grow my skills, rather than doing the same mundane tasks every day, etc. I was told that things would change, but they still haven't. I've come to the conclusion that management simply likes to dangle the carrot on a string in front of their employees, always promising opportunities for growth but never delivering. I have seen many people leave over the years, but I myself am struggling to leave. I have become victim to the sunk cost fallacy.
I keep thinking I am experiencing "struggle love" with my job. I have cOmMuNiCaTeD all my needs and tried everything in my power to help maintain my sanity working there. I have learned HR is not on my side. I just received my yearly review, and compared it to last year's review. They are identical. I am struggling to find any motivation to keep doing the same thing each day without any incentive. How am I supposed to become better as an employee if there simply isn't any room for me to be given more challenges? It's like "if he wanted to, he would," but in the context of management holding me back. I'm a forever girlfriend to my job.
I have been extensively job searching, desperate to just find anything that will pay enough to keep me afloat, but also allow me to work from home. My current job is severely affecting my mental health. I think my boss is jealous of me. She is just a couple years older and this past year has been awful dealing with her increasing abuse toward me. I think she is jealous of my self confidence, work ethic, and positive attitude, and is trying to break me down. It genuinely feels like an abusive relationship, and I know I need to get out.
If this were a relationship, I think it would be so much easier to just block and delete and move on. But, I need money to survive. I'm fearful that I won't find anything better if I just quit without another job already lined up. I've already been applying but haven't heard back from anything. I'm feeling increasingly stuck. My current job isn't allowing me to develop any transferrable skills into other industries. My self esteem is shot from management keeping me down, just like how a bad boyfriend tries to "humble" their girlfriends who are clearly out of their league. I keep being gaslit by others telling me "how good I have it" because I get to work from home, how I should be thankful to have a job at all, "everyone hates their job," etc. I am doubting myself for wanting to leave even though I am becoming more depressed every day. I don't know how to get out of this.
The best time to look for a job is when you already have job.
OP, I was in dead end job a few weeks ago. It drained me. I cried for the first few months and thought about breaking my contract and burning bridges. I was plotting my exit the third week into my job. I left and picked up a contract 3 days after doing temp work. The change was amazing. I’m doing things that I’m qualified in and it’s been fulfilling. I feel motivated and stimulated. It’s a happier environment.
I've been there. I call it "employer Stockholm syndrome" and it almost ruined me. If dangling the new opportunities in front of you and never following through is all it takes to make you work harder and do more than what you are actually hired and paid for, why would they ever actually give you the reward? It works fine for them just like it is. You are literally a "human resource" to exploit.
My advice is to keep applying for jobs until you find something and do the bare minimum not to get fired from your current job in the mean time. If your excellent performance is not rewarded they get what they pay for: the bare minimum.
My current employer has a system in place where you have a meeting with your superior once a year during which you discuss the the past year and set realistic goals and benchmarks for the coming year and a reward(!) (like a bonus, promotion or whatever) if you reach those goals. Everything is done in writing, so even if your bosses change you have proof of what is owed to you for your performance. It's a much more motivating system for me.
You need to leave before you completely give up on yourself. I've been in this exact situation and I ended up quitting with nothing lined up. I think I would have eventually gotten fired if I stayed, because I got to the point where I cared so little that I barely did any work. Since I was working from home, no one even noticed what I did or didn't do, so it all felt completely pointless. I was gaining weight from constantly stress-snacking during work hours. Crying during my tasks. Sometimes I even took my laptop to bed and fell asleep. It was soul-crushing. Could you take a couple of weeks PTO first of all, to give yourself a proper rest? Don't plan an actual holiday. Just spend time with friends and family, do your hobbies, do some job hunting whenever you feel up to it. Then you'll kind of experience the feeling of being unemployed, but with holiday pay to live on. You could consider whether it's possible for you to quit without another job. If you have enough money for a few months and no past history of quitting. Sometimes job hunting is a whole job by itself, and you need all your mental and physical energy to do it. You might find that leaving this job is what you need to get that back. Also, I'm not sure where you live and what the healthcare is like. But would it be possible for you to go to your doctor and have them sign you off work due to stress and depression? If you explain just how much this job is breaking you, you could be considered medically unfit for work. You might be able to get a couple of weeks off work with sick pay. Your employer doesn't give a shit about your health, so you've got to do anything you can to take care of yourself.
Don't listen to anyone gaslighting you! I've been gaslit since 2011 about how working from home should surpass all other factors... it does not. You are clearly ready for growth. The economy is about to take a really harsh turn, but keep up on applying other places and make it a top priority for yourself. Something will eventually come through for you, just keep at it. I'm in a very similar boat in my current job. I'm about 5 years in and I've done all I can do here, including earning a damn masters degree that they offer us tuition free. I asked my boss about growth opportunities last wk. and we only have two tracks to take. One I would be leading a small team of utterly bitch women who have thrown me under the bus a million x or stolen materials I make and pass them off as their own. It's a ton of extra work and I know this team is especially nasty.. or, I could enter a program that is ultra time consuming for a made up certificate about "leadership skills." Problem is, I don't only want to go into leadership. I actually want to go into training current employees (my new degree supports this), but there are no direct paths for that. So I am feeling a little stuck, too, and also looking around for new work. I also caught word that in the fall, my new supervisor will be a very short man who we all know packs some heat and doesn't even understand what our jobs really are... so... I need to keep looking.
People who job hop make more in the end. I've job hopped all my life, the most time I've spent at a job is about 5 years. Once I see no clear opportunities for advancement, I leave. I hate getting stagnant... hate it.
Also, apply for things that you think may be out of your zone. Sometimes timing or a manager just liking you enough during an interview will get you in the door. Get creative with where you are applying.
And yes, it's good that you are understanding they always dangle carrots and that HR is not on our side at all. . Don't even bother going to them about anything, it will be a waste of your time. You've asked and you are not receiving. It's time for you to grow! Once a company does this to me, I'm out. You do have to treat them like a relationship. For some reason, I was always great about understanding my value at work and never great at it with men! 😅 but they are the same concepts. When you see your team and boss and HR are all fucking you around, it's time to get gone. Treat your job hunting like a second job and I'm sure you will find something!
Keep us updated sometimes! I'd love to hear how it's going for you and I love career-minded women!