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Today, I got rejected from a midwifery university course with integrated work experience that would have started in fall. I'm currently enrolled in a Master's programme in a different subject, and was hoping for a fresh start. I feel sad, embarrassed and disappointed. The application phase is only once a year, so I'll have to wait a year before I can try again. I try telling myself that I can use that year to work on myself, do an internship to increase my chances and prepare better for the entrance exam, but right now I feel so stuck in the disappointment. The admission process is split into the entrance exam and an assessment center type event for interviews that you get invited to based on your exam performance. I did get invited to the interviews, but I didn't make the cut. I'll receive more detailed information about my performance in a few weeks.
The hardest part for me is letting go of all the hopes and dreams and plans I had that I tied to getting accepted into the course. I feel ridiculous and immature for getting so invested in this in the first place. Of course the rejection is still fresh, but right now I have this familiar feeling of shame and inferiority that so often keeps me from pursuing the things I want.
How do you deal with not getting accepted into courses, getting rejected from jobs etc.? How do you get over negative emotions towards yourself and your performance in order to move on?
Failure is the best teacher. I've failed many times, got derailed just as many. The idea is to fail but fail quickly. Get up, dust yourself off and just so you know, you don't need to "wait another year" until the next exam. You need to start preparing right now for the "next year exam". Like, you imagine you have all this time but you don't.
Consider it practice, not failure. Write down the interview questions for future reference. Once you get your feedback, work on improving whatever they found lacking. In the meantime, pursue related job opportunities for additional experience. Or you can trying applying to a similar program somewhere else if that’s feasible. Rejection sucks, but it’s common.
I create several HIGHLY appealing backup plans and execute plan A to D at the same time. When plan A doesn't work out it is much easier to cope.
One of the greatest pieces of advice that I’ve heard regarding professional rejection is that you should aim to receive a certain amount of “No’s” per year, or per semester. Be it 5 or 15, it encourages you to take as many opportunities as you can and not be disappointed with the outcome. Hearing back “no” means that you put yourself out there and tried, regardless of the outcome, and that’s something to be proud of in itself. The more no’s you hear, the more effort you put in, and the more you’re likely to eventually hear back a yes. I’m not sure I explained it well enough, but I think it’s a healthier alternative that treating a rejection as a failure or the end of the world. As someone else mentioned, it also gives you something to work towards and things to improve in yourself.
First off, I’m sorry to hear of the news. I can imagine that this hard to hear and it is completely valid to feel what you are feeling. You put a lot of effort and hard work into something that was important to you and had a vision of an outcome that didn’t happen. So it makes perfect sense that you’re feeling disappointed, sad and rejected. I’d invite you to really allow yourself to feel these emotions and don’t bottle them up. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself- cry, eat your favourite food, do whatever you love and if possible and works with you surround yourself with loved ones. Then you pick yourself up like the Queen you are with a clear mind to make the next steps. Speaking from personal experiences it took me 3 tries to get into my professional healthcare program. But I can say with certainty and faith that at the 3rd time I got more options and was able to get into my top choice and I’m so happy it happened now than on my first try. I was more financially stable and more emotionally ready to handle the program. I truly believe there is something better whether be better timing or options. You’ve already thought of great next steps like getting feedback on your performance and doing internship so you’re on your way. I know it is easier said than done but you can do it and are strong and resilient to keep going! We’re rooting for you!! 🙌🏾
I believe that you don't get what you want sometimes because there are better plans for you ahead. One day you will think to yourself, wow, if I had gotten accepted to that university,,THIS wouldn't have happened! It might seem like a coping mechanism but when I think back on my life and the jobs I wanted to get and the people I wanted to date, I just think I'm sooo fortunate I did not get what I wanted, or I wouldn't be in my current job (which I LOVE) or have the wonderful life that I have. Hope that helps... sorry you got rejected, but if there's some thing that unites humanity it's rejection!
Is this one of those midwifery colleges that now teaches students how to cater to trans women lmao... All jokes aside, I truly believe rejection is protection/redirection. It still stings though, I'm sorry.
I too have faced a fair share of career set backs, but you do the only thing you can, keep pushing on. Eventually you’ll look back and have one hell of a resume. I’ve been rejected from countless jobs, some prestigious programs I had thought was a lock, rejected from teams where I was personally assured by the manager that I had the job. But here I am now, without revealing personal details, on a very successful path, because I never gave up. I did whatever I had to, to keep pressing on. I’ve held on to the strong women allies and that has paid off in spades. Keep your shoulder to grindstone and keep your contacts with professional women. It will work out, even if it isn’t all you had imagined. I’m sorry you’re going this set back.
A lot of disappointment in life comes from attaching yourself to one outcome and when it doesn't come true you're left with all these feelings. It's important not to take this personally, you could have done everything right and it would still be the same outcome.
Do you have any belief in a higher power or force? If you do, it could be telling you that you need to explore other options.
Try and get feedback about WHY you were rejected. Just spitballing, say you had barely scraped a pass in Maths and they thought you might struggle in that area. So take a remedial maths class and send them the certification, saying that you want to be considered for the next intake and will reapply. You were doing poetry now are making a drastic change. Will you stick with it? Did you just watch an episode of call the midwife or do you have a compelling reason you want to change. The masters program you are on will have a careers advisor. Get some feedback from them. The courses love to take people's money, but they don't want a high failure/dropout rate so they rejected applicants they think for whatever reason won't complete the course. Or maybe they were so oversubscribed that there were just no places. Find out if you can be 'on the waiting list' for the next intake. Don't take failure as 'oh, they hate me' try to get to the root of things. Maybe you said something like 'you faint at the sight of blood' ok that's an exaggeration, but maybe there is something you disclosed that makes the course actually not a good fit for you. All the best!