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Diana Gould (12 November 1912 – 25 January 2003) was an English dancer and the second wife of famed violinist Yehudi Menuhin.
She was an incredibly talented dancer, to the point of being described by the famous Russian ballerina Anna Pavlova as “the only English dancer she’d seen who had a soul”, and as “the most musical dancer the English have yet produced” by Arnold Haskell. Despite this, she gave up her career to support her violinist husband after their marriage.
She clearly missed and felt longing for her career, to the point of feeling an “agonising nostalgia” for her dance career, especially when she saw other dancers and was likely reminded of what she had given up.
She also literally said her ‘job’ was to ‘try and put Humpty Dumpty together again’. He was supposedly emotionally volatile, especially when they initially met, as he was coming off the tail end of his first marriage breaking down (though still married at that point).
She would spend up to 17 hours a day planning out his work schedule and travel arrangements.
She wrote in her autobiography Fiddler’s Moll, “if one performing artist marries another, it is obvious that one of the two must dissolve his or her persona in the other” – giving up her artistic career to support his.
She was also devoted to him to the point of neglecting their children, who she also seemed to have a strained relationship – although it was hard for her (she described it as “agony”) to leave them to be cared by others, she felt her responsibility to be with Menuhin and organize his life and schedule was more important. Their pianist son Jeremy described his childhood as privileged economically but “grotesque” emotionally , his father “cold and detached”, and his mother “domineering and volatile”.
Even her own autobiography was titled Fiddler’s Moll – her being the ‘moll’ of Menuhin, the fiddler/violinist.
Essentially, she gave up her own career and identity to completely support this man. To be honest, it makes me sad when I think about how much talent and potential she had and how she gave it up. Her husband is the famous, well-known artist, while she’s often just remembered as Yehudi Menuhin’s wife. I think this example does show the very real effects of many women’s giving up of their career to support a husband- the loss of professional fulfillment (missing and feeling longing for her dancing career), and being only remembered in history as the wife of “so-and-so”.
Also, seriously, where’s Yehudi Menuhin in all of this? Did he ever express any remorse or regret for his wife having to lose her dance career to support his?
The FDS Rules that were broken: to always have your own career, to not give up your identity, vocation, and career for a man, and to not build a man (she heavily supported and managed his career)
Not core FDS rules, but also important rules/principles that were broken:
to not be a man’s emotional rehabilitation centre
not getting involved with someone married
Some grudging caveats:
they did seem to be genuinely in love, and he did speak and write adoringly, lovingly, and appreciatively of her, and they signed their names together as “Yehudiana”
he did determinedly pursue her for three years
they did have a loving and strong marriage for 52 years
Though: FDS states – you can have it all! You can and should have a deeply fulfilling and successful career and a loving relationship and be adored.
(Though, it’s not like their marriage was perfectly harmonious – they did have arguments, with her throwing trays and a typewriter at him, apparently.)
An interesting contrast: Mookie Lee-Menuhin, who is married to Jeremy Menuhin: Mookie-Lee Menuhin enjoys her own career as a pianist, cognitive neuroscientist, and enjoys her hobbies of being an amateur architect and chef. Jeremy Menuhin was also apparently more active and present in his children’s lives after experiencing his father’s neglect.
Sources:
Fiddler’s Moll, Diana Gould
https://www.theguardian.com/uk/1999/mar/13/7
https://www.smh.com.au/national/she-chose-to-be-a-great-fiddlers-moll-20030206-gdg85d.html
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/3637593/I-only-felt-loved-when-I-played-well.html
https://www.instagram.com/mookieleemenuhin/?hl=en
P.S. see this post on my blog! https://femcurrent2.wordpress.com/2025/04/21/a-historical-relationship-analysis-diana-gould-and-yehudi-menuhin-and-the-fds-rules-that-were-broken-giving-up-ones-career/
P.S. to the person who keeps responding to my posts with laughing emojis, um, thanks for the engagement, I guess?
Also update: seriously, even if you are in love, you don’t have to give up your career or compromise spending time with your children. He could’ve gotten an assistant or manager to manage his career, she maybe could’ve shifted to part-time performing after having children, etc. It does seem like he gained and didn’t give up things for this relationship the same way she did