From Gavin de Becker’s Gift of Fear. Wanted to share this somewhere~
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Comments (6)
Unknown member
Mar 27, 2024
I haven't read his book but this is terrible advice. Very male centric perspective.
Saying "no" explicitly to a man's advances can cause a woman to be stabbed (see the recent news from NYC). Men are irrational and emotional. Women don't have to give 2 fucks about wasting a man's time.
It's much better to have a Google voice number you can give out and then block as needed. Or maybe say that you're a lesbian or married. At least that's a softer rejection in the eyes of a HEmotional.
It's a shame because I've heard so many good things about the book. I hope this paragraph is an anomaly...
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Unknown member
Mar 28, 2024
Replying to
“I haven’t read this book” - clearly you haven’t read the paragraph properly either. The author himself recognizes that it is difficult for women to explicitly rebuff male’s unwanted advances, but it’s way better than to interact with them. Not everyone has an access to Google voice and sometimes the scrotes may even ring you back on the spot to “prove” that the number you gave them is correct. What do you do then when he gets emotional? The best defense is to ignore them.
Also, the author’s not talking about women wasting men’s time, but vice versa. The book itself is really good and has some other good nuggets of knowledge, and it even is in the recommended reading by FDS. You literally judged the whole book by one paragraph.
A woman has every right to say explicitly no to a man's advances - I'm kind of surprised anyone would discourage that here.
I didn't know that even if you had a Google voice number (I did figure out how to set one up), that it doesn't make you immune from being exposed when the guy attempts to call your number right on the spot.
I haven't read his book but this is terrible advice. Very male centric perspective.
Saying "no" explicitly to a man's advances can cause a woman to be stabbed (see the recent news from NYC). Men are irrational and emotional. Women don't have to give 2 fucks about wasting a man's time.
It's much better to have a Google voice number you can give out and then block as needed. Or maybe say that you're a lesbian or married. At least that's a softer rejection in the eyes of a HEmotional.
It's a shame because I've heard so many good things about the book. I hope this paragraph is an anomaly...