.png)
Related episode of a podcast: https://www.girlsgottaeatpodcast.com/episodes/is-he-just-not-that-into-me-feat-greg-behrendt-author-of-hes-just-not-that-into-you You can skip right past all the personal conversation about the hosts' lives at the begining and onto the interview, you're not missing much.
Greg Behrendt also has his own podcast, but I didn't find it that compelling.
The gist of this book is that you don't accept excuses whether we make them for men or men tell them to us. Simple right?
In society we are compelled to think of people as having good intentions, so they must deserve the benefit of the doubt. But any answer that is not a yes is generally a no.
Here is a randomly related article: https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes
For any relationship question that is posted online asking why a man doesn't text back, or a man who doesn't make a plan or a man who continuously says he busy, or man who had sex with you but doesn't text or call or make any contact with you, the commentors will make excuses. They will also say that you should text first or contact first or pursue him and do all the initiation.
Men know what they are doing. If they are are holding you at arm's length or not doing the next step that you intuitively know they would do if they actually liked you, that means he's just not that into you. You do not need to have closure or verbally confirm that he doesn't like you that much.
Related quote: If he wanted to, he would have already.
Generally, men put you in a box when they first meet you from their first impressions. You will never get out this box. Men's first impressions range from: I would fuck her, but I wouldn't marry her. I would just be friends with her. I will marry this person. You will never be able to change his mind, no matter what you do.
Related quote: A man's heart is not a vagina. It will not stretch to fit you. (I forgot the author, google search is not helpful, someone enlighten me) Men have never tolerated half the shit from women that women do for men.
...anyways, this book is mostly just filled with examples of excuses, and explanations why those excuses are bullshit. Because when you logically question and examine these excuses, they crumble to dust. It's just really easy to make yourself blind to red flags when you like that person. But it's more important that the man likes you more than you like him because women will tolerate a lot of shit from a man before they leave and a man will not for someone he doesn't care about so he must demonstrate that he is willing to put in the work. Otherwise you get a man who fucks you for a night and never talks to you again.
It's pretty hurtful at first, like oh what I'm not pretty/hot/cool/fun enough? Maybe you have things to work on, it's very humbling and hurtful to be rejected. But then I remind myself there's a high likelihood of any man under the age of 40 being a porn addict since his teenage years, probably discovered red pill along the way, what prize is that? Who cares if he rejected you and isn't into you when his "dream girl" is supposed to love anal (your sphincter is an OUT hole), cook every meal for him while holding down a full time job, be cool with his porn addiction .. I'm serious, even indirect rejection via he's just not that into you doesn't hurt so bad when you remember most men are porn obsessed anyway.
Unfortunately this doesn’t apply to narcissists. These men can pursue you right, do all the right things, tell you what you want to hear and treat you like gold until you are exclusive.