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The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
The Mystery Method
One other stupid male centred advice book that I can't remember the name of
Ready?
A man should have sex with any women who will have sex with him to build up confidence to go after a woman that he really wants.
This shouldn't be a revelation to any FDS aligned thinker. And it's basically what a lot of men do naturally. Which is why you get the trope of: he told me he didn't believe in the idea of marriage, broke up with me after ten years, and then married the next woman!
This is why you're dating to vet men, you're not dating to make every man you meet like you. Male desire is the most abundant resource in the universe.
But how do you tell if his interest is genuine or simply because he has an empty roster and is desperate and lonely?
Don't have sex right away. This a piece of old, old puritanical advice. It has roots in slut shaming women for having any amount of sex and shaming men for not having enough sex. Very paradoxical since how would heterosexual men have sex if heterosexual women are expected to have no sex? Makes zero sense.
So we take this advice in a different direction. Generally, lust comes first because we notice the attractiveness of a person first. Having sex will cloud your own judgment. If you are looking for a long term partner, stop there. Find out comparability. Ask the hard questions. Political views. Do they want children. Yes, men lie. That's why you check their social media. What conversations do they have with their friends. Vet their friends and family. What are their backgrounds. What is his job?
But why can't I have sex right away? Because you're on the FDS forum for a reason. If you can vet men by having sex with them and you're fine with having the unworthy candidates eliminate themselves by breaking up or ghosting, then do it. I'm not going to argue with you if you have chosen to do that method. You never waste time by learning a lesson, but otherwise save some time, effort and emotional resources for the right person.
Yeah. The slut shaming "don't have sex" advice directed (and placing responsibility on) women is really just a distortion that says: Men are generally trash so do not sleep with them til they show they are worthy of you and of decent character. which most aren't. People are crazy. (ie the twisted-ness of the advice and projected blame/shame).
The "don't have sex for puritanical reasons" angle is definitely not the FDS reason.
It gives you plenty of vetting time, makes him "chase" and be on his best behaviour knowing that he has to please, impress you and meet your standards if a relationship is to be considered and weeds out the guys who are just after sex. Plus casual sex is much more dangerous for women than men (hello, male violence, STDs etc) so it is also a protective measure.
But we DO believe in having sex when we are READY and the man has passed all tests.
valuable intel, right here. you never know how many men have read these books and take their recommendations to heart. it's weird to me how they treat women like jobs. gross.
It's even worse if you have ADHD. It's really hard to tell if I like him or the dopamine hit sex gives me. The struggle is real.
I know, right? It's so annoying that taking time to vet someone before sex is widely considered something only for religious people and therefore "illogical". When it's the most logical thing ever. The chances of contracting an STD that can eventually kill us increases the more we let dick through without thorough vetting. That's cold, hard fact.
There are some STDs men cannot get tested for. Because "who cares if diseased dick goes around giving women cancer" is the general attitude about this, apparently. We can't rely completely on tests to protect us.
Handbook post right here!