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Let me explain. I've been dissecting this fairy tale and what I'm starting to realize is: the Prince chased after Cinderella because she held herself as a High Value Woman. Her behavior was Queen-like. She did not act desperate for his attention. She did not break her curfew to hang out with him more. No.
Cinderella prioritized her own safety, her own well-being (she would be really in trouble if she got home late). That's why she rushed home, and left the ball early. Cinderella prioritized her own family and the people who had been in her life since day one (long before she met the Prince). Cinderella did not abandon her friends and family to go hang out with a cute guy she just met. No. Cinderella honored her connections and the people in her life. That makes her high value, regardless of how financially wealthy she is. Cinderella set clear boundaries with the man she was dating (the Prince), and demonstrated self control and self respect. She showed him that she has a life outside of him, and that he has to put in effort and actually ask her out, if he wants to be on her priority list. Because she has a schedule, and other things she wants to do, and other people she wants to spend time with. She was not rude. She was simply clear about her priorities and she was goal oriented. Those qualities attracted the Prince to her, because these are High Value qualities: an ambitious woman who knows how to manage her time, who sets firm boundaries, who prioritizes the people closest to her, who respects herself and knows her own worth. She did not beg him to spend time with her. She did not hang around idle waiting for him. She just went about her business.
And that is what made him chase. It was not her outward beauty, not the quality of her ball gown, not the dainty size of her feet that enticed him. He just used the shoe as an excuse to come visit her. As a way to find her. But he was already into her, long before he knew the size of her feet. Her dress wasn't even that expensive or amazing (compared to the attire of all the Princesses at the ball). She probably was not the prettiest girl in the room.
But the Princesses at the ball displayed pick-me-girl behavior: they stayed longer at the ball, just to hang around the Prince, just to drool over him. These Princesses neglected and ignored their own friends and family, just so they could go beg for a cute guy's attention.
That is why they were unattractive to a High Value Man (the Prince, who was going to be King one day, and was looking for a woman who behaves like a Queen, a woman who has a regal air about her, a woman who values herself and does not beg for scraps of his attention). That is why the Prince chose Cinderella over all the Princesses in the land. Because despite her poverty, Cinderella behaved like a Queen. She didn't let her circumstances limit her.
This is just a fairy tale, and just one take on this story, but I think we can learn from it. While dating men (or women) can be fun, it should probably not be a priority in our lives. It's okay and perfectly fine if you are legit too busy to date. This only raises your value in the eyes of potential suitors. It shows you have drive, you have ambition, you have time management skills, you have goals you're after (goals aside from marriage and motherhood, which are worthy goals, but require two people... so this is not something you can really work on alone), you have a life. Even if it's something small like having an active social life and prioritizing your (female) friends over your dating partners. Even that makes you super attractive and Queen-like. You don't have to be super accomplished or ambitious (Cinderella was poor!, but she had a life). Having a life makes you more sexy and desirable to anyone.
Cinderella could have left her stepmother and two stepsisters to actually get paid looking after a house instead of taking the emotional abuse and hard labour.
From the wiki of the Brothers Grimm version:
So this fairy tale just teaches girls to be passive and take abuse without retaliation until a deus ex machina comes to set in motion events that will change their circumstances. Not a good lesson.
Sure, it's less pick me than what we have now, but she still let her "family" walk all over her when by law that property would have been solely hers. Unless the father put their names in the will explicitly. Then again, I guess there'd not be much of a story is Cinderella kicked their asses to the curb/or told them to fuck off as she'd still have owned half the home (without a will).
I thought the reason Cinderella left the ball and the prince was because the spell broke at midnight and she would have transformed back into a maid. Her chariot was going to turn back into a pumpkin and her chariot driver and horses back into mice. The spell was intended to peacock herself in front of the prince to impress him, such as the dress and chariot. Seems pretty pickme in my book.
Not what I expected to read today, but I enjoyed reading this take. It goes to show the HVW comes from all walks of life and that they are know to respect themselves and their boundaries. Thanks for this take.
Cinderella was actually royalty. Her stepmother and sisters were not; they married into the wealth that Cinderella‘s father had, and when he died, they seized it all and demoted Cinderella. But her royal spirit couldn’t be broken. She had dignity and poise no matter how bad her circumstances were. The others were acting like Pick Mes despite being in far better circumstances than Cinderella was; they were willing to cut off their toes and heels just to fit into the shoe. It’s a lesson in keeping your head down, working your way out of a jam, and triumph despite terrible circumstances.
I had these long conversations with my mom and aunt where we talked about how the story of Cinderella taught us the importance of networking. You could be the most beautiful, talented, high value woman ever, but if you are trapped in your house and never go anywhere, or if you only ever have the company of your family and two people, you will never find the opportunities you deserve. It also reminds of how abusers isolate you because they know that people who are better than them will want you. Isolation makes negging and devaluing easier. No matter how much you work on yourself and improve yourself, if nobody sees it, people who are half of you will reap the opportunities and rewards. You need to go out into the world in order for the people who will appreciate you to find you. If you live in a tower for the rest of your life, it will be like you never existed and HVM men won't know you exist. No HVM will find you if you don't show up to new places and meet new people more often.
I see the negatives but still have a lot of time for this. Please rewrite more tales @Kate
For real :D Within the bounds of a fairy tale, this is a great take
This video explains your point so well