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So instead of reviewing the entire book, which sympathizes and explains cheaters and cheating behavior, I've just skipped to the most pertinent chapter.
Cheaters have a rehearsed lie if they ever get caught. Denying, having a good story all memorized so that it comes out sincere.
Because cheaters can become so good at lying, social media and apps can be a way to find out. Pretend your phone is dead, and ask to use your partner's phone. A phone can be the key. Google or Apple accounts that automatically connect everything can hold evidence of cheating.
Social media makes it easy to get caught. Maybe a cheater gets a picture taken with his affair partner. Maybe the cheater is following his affair partner on Instagram.
A good past reputation will give a cheater benefit of the doubt. The cheater needs to make sure his partner is happy so she is more trusting, less suspicious.
Paying a bill can leave a trail. Cards, payment services leave records. Using a card more, or a large amount charged. Maybe even a secret credit card his partner doesn't know about.
Cheating during the day is less suspicious than cheating at night. If a job has random hours, changing schedule, travel as part of work, fake work trips.
If a cheater's routine suddenly changes, like more frequent showers, it may indicate cheating.
A cheater may have friends who enable him and back up his lies.
These are all ways you can catch cheaters, but not things people good at cheating will generally do.
They won't have any social media ties to the affair partner or use apps that connect to other parts of their online persona. Telegram (also whatsapp and snapchat) are common cheating apps. If they need to be connected to a phone number, they will be connected to a secondary google voice number (which needs an email, so they start a gmail on incognito mode). Those apps will be hidden away in a folder in a part of the phone with apps that aren't regularly used, and will have an extra biometric lock. Some just get a whole second phone they keep at work (and only text the affair partner while at work).
They pay in cash and don't keep receipts. So tracking ATM withdraws to see if any are in odd locations is a way even "good" cheaters can often be found. But the really smart ones will make a habit of withdrawing sufficient cash for this at ATMs in their normal locations. In theory you could match up ATM withdraws and credit card charges and see if there's a bunch of extra cash leftover, if you have the access for that.
For time management, some will start hobbies which are solitary (eg fishing) and/or shower-requiring (eg sports or gym) before they start cheating, just when they are planning to. So if their wife checks up on the new hobby when it's actually new, it will check out. And if it's something like a gym, 2 days a week may actually be gym and 1 day will be affair, so they still get gym results.
But yes, the biggest thing you can do is seem happy and not suspicious. All opsec activities go on lockdown if suspicion is noted.
What they're often bad at hiding, even if they're invested enough to do all the opsec, is a change in their own baseline mood.
Source: was a sugar baby in a previous life.
Thanks for sparing us all reading a cheating apologetics book! :D this is the info we need.
(BTW not saying this to diss other users) but this is the kind of post I LOVE about FDS! This post should be in the handbook. It cuts right through all the himpathy and fake male talking points to reveal the true reasoning behind their actions, and also specifically lays out their patterns to help warn other women. This post is great! You are women who read TRP threads in order to write down their tactics to avoid later. It's the embodiment of FDS.
When a woman suspects a man of cheating, he almost always is. Save the energy and dump, divorce as needed. Your best friend is your natural instincts--they cannot lie to you, but men gleefully will.